> > Namaste Swami-G! Namaste and Great Morning, > > *I have been working for almost four weeks now. My first impression > didnât last long: itâs not such a quiet place after all. The patients > are really emotionally disturbed and sometimes violent. I have been > kicked and bitten several times: not that hard, but enough to be > unpleasant and creating stress. In other situations the patients turn > their anger towards themselves and get self destructive. This creates > a pretty tense environment on the job: itâs difficult to relax, when > Iâm at the job and the tension and stress continue to sit in my body > and mind, when I go home. > Itâs not as much the violence in it self, itâs more that the patients > are so unpredictable and unstable: the sudden outbursts of anger and > frustration. Iâm trying to do the mantras and balanced breathing as > much as possible, it helps me to stay present, but still itâs not that > nice to be there. Very often I find it hard to think of it as seva, > even though I do feel compassion for the patients and their deluded > souls too.
S Seva has nothing to do with how the so called outer circumstances - it is the inner force of love, surrender and equal mindedness that do the work of giving. If working at this place has jostled your perception of how things should be than it is a perfect place for you now as life does not shape itself to your wishes - one only stays steady within and continues with the heart and mind directed towards God. The experiences that come when one is on the path are due to conditions blooming/karma - always grace if surrendered within. Stepping into places of great suffering can be potent heart opening work - don't turn away from it, flow along with it relax. I used to work on an involuntary psych unit where the staff got beat up all the time - used to pay attention to the breath while walking up and down the halls - always looked at the patients as being my very being and treated them this way (no matter how they looked or were behaving). Also, worked in the jail - the guards were supposed to follow the nurse into the cell and stand by, but they rarely did - they were always distracted or chatting away amongst themselves. Stayed relaxed within it and was never harmed - do not regret visiting the dark parts of existence. Now have moved on to working with death and dying as a nurse one cleans wounds, poop, help manage family drama- whatever the day brings. And yes, working on the net, that is a story in itself. S Surrender to the situation, it will become a fluid dance of oneness in action - let go of pulling away from it - take advantage of this opportunity. > >* When Iâm not at the job I often feel anxiety when thinking about the > next time I have to go to work. Meditation helps, but still the fear > is there the next time thoughts of my job pop up. What can I do to > make the situation more pleasant and to deal with the feeling of > anxiety? Iâm only going to work there for one more month, but still I S Stop trying to make it more pleasant. What is it you fear? Imagine living the lives that those poor souls must endure. * want to get the best out of it and learn something from the situation. S Continue with the practices - relax. It is a transient situation... > > Love > > Carsten Great Peace and IS, 000 Siddhananda
