> About the fear and emptiness ... what is it that's empty? What is
the fear OF? That you will burn up? I>>
The fear is of anihilation. It seems like anihilation, like something
else could take over that is not me, but I have come to the point of
facing that very powerful sense, and not fearing the fear so to speak.
I think I have the same fear only I experience it differently. I don't fear
that I as a person could be annihilated but that my body could be. And I fear
that the fire I have to walk through is too strange, that I'll be completely
scrambled and come out completely different on the other side. Sort of like how
I suppose I'd feel if someone were going to beam me up for the first time in a
Star Trek scenario.
I don't know. Part of what I am getting is that it could destroy me,
but I decided to not be afraid of that. I suppose if a person thinks
that they, as an individual, is important, then it defeats the part
of the purpose of enlightenment, which is letting go of ego. So the
paradox is that the fear is of annihilation, but humans naturally
have a strong sense of self preservation, and unless they aceept the
possibility of total annihilation of the soul, then they are still
atached to their own ego. It is normal to fear annihilation of the
soul I think, but I have decided that is a barrier to my evolution,
and so I decided to never fear that natural fear anymore. My one
weensy soul is not important to the universe, so why not risk it.
I think you're very courageous for moving through the fear. But I don't think
it's at all true that your precious soul is not important to the universe.
That's like saying the branch is not important to the tree. The tree needs the
branch, it's a part of itself. Even when the branch realizes it is tree, it
will always still be branch, and important as such. It just will have a much
broader vision.
Maybe,and I think fear is necessary. You cannot annihilate fear. It
is natural to the universe. I heard Maharishi explain once that the
infinity is afraid of being annihilated by the point value and visa-
versa, so it is inbuilt into the dynamics of existence. The 3 in 1
structure of consciousness (Being) is a direct result of this
reverberation as one extreme expands to the other, and back. I did
not get, nor accept, Maharishi's answer at that time(to a purusha
guy's question about how he was percieving fear within the
transcndent or something like that). In fact, I was annoyed by this
talk of fear, and ignored it. But now, I can see the importance of
it. It is a wonderful thing.
So I am starting to think of fear as an energy, it is just that
humans and other animals use that energy as a tool of practical life,
such that it becomes ingrained as something negative. But we need to
pull back and see the big picture. It is an energy, and I think that
yogis learn to transform (not annihilate, or ignore) that energy into
power.
I like that last part -- that fear is just an energy and that yogis learn to
transform it into power. I think you're onto something here. I don't agree that
fear is intrinsic to life though or anything like that. To me, fear is the gap,
the "g" in Agni (if you remember MMY's teaching on that). It's the place
Consciousness fell into when it manifested into diversity.
First there was just wholeness, then it went to express. As it started to
split into myriad forms, it got scared, feeling separate and alone and unsure.
It felt detached from its Source. So all creation developed with fear at its
very core, at its very heart.
When we go backwards, reclimbing the stair, we experience the fear in our
core again -- very consciously -- right before we reattain the wholeness. In
making the fear conscious and moving forward anyway, we dissolve it and are
freed. That's my intuitive feeling about it anyway.
I cannot be sure it should be called kundalini. It
is very powerful and extreme and hits the brain like a bolt of
electricity, but bright and purifying.
Well, I'm convinced it's kundulini. What else could it be?
I let it do its thing. I have always felt it was a good thing (though
sometimes I was scared of the annihilation sense), and it ALWAYS ends
in a sweet bathing of bliss for and hour or more.
You inspire me with your courage and your trust in the goodness and
naturalness of the experience. What you've said will help me to do the same.
Not that I have it all the time like you do, but when it's there, I will be
more willing.
I just let it do its thing and I like it.
Yes, that's the ticket. It's the Self unfolding the Self to the self.
Yes, and that sense of that immortal being that I get, I cannot even
call it 'me' at all. I just can't see that, and that is where that
fear of annihilation comes in. But I decided that 'me' is nothing
important, and to just go with it when it comes.
I always still feel it's me, only a higher-dimensional version of me burning
through to manifest more fully in the physical body. They say we exist in many
dimensions, that we have a "me" at each level, and the higher-dimensional
"me's" are aware of the me in this world. When the fire comes, I sense that it
is a greater me reaching down to refine and purify the earthly me, to become
one with it, to express through it. To uplift and exalt and transform it. But
"I" will always be as an individual, only refined and transformed.
I don't think of the body anymore so much. This thing is so powerful,
that the body comes or goes is of no consequence to me. Body is a
vessel maybe, but not so important. You are immortal and no-one can
ever escape that terrible truth.
That level of willingness to be refined and transformed is what it must take
to be worthy of walking through the sacred fire. You are given this gift
because transformation and evolution are more important to you than anything,
even than life in your body. But you won't lose your body. Facing that fear is
only a test. You have already passed it, I think.
<< A body that "ran on" higher consciousness, that was "wired" with
high enough conscious, would not be subject to decay. The force that
makes this transformation IMO is the kundulini. It seems made for
that.>>
I cannot see how my body could fully integrate this thing and
survive. I have expect to self-combust, but I now know I won't. But
perhaps people who are more used to it can integrate it. Maybe I am
just not at that point yet, and I am overblowing it as an experience,
but it is so much fun and bliss and enlightening, I hope I never just
get used to it.
Well, Flanigan says it just keeps getting better.
we are ultimately massive and powerful beings, but we
forgot that, and I think these god-beings have little to do with our
self-concept of most people today.
totally agree
Trust the universe, it will not let you down. Go with the flow, and do not
try
to push the fear away, let it in and accept it, it will become your
power in the end.
Thank you so much for this most inspiring vision and advice, my invisible
friend. I will always be grateful for what you've shared today. - Bronte
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