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Wow, amazingly well written, and I think most likely, totally
on the mark for most men. They are psychologically conditioned to be this way
from a young age. I'd say, let HIM read that email... it may be a real turning
point in his life. I know if I was a man, and I read that, and saw the truth
behind it, I might break down.
Jenn ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh hon...I know how hard this is for you, I've been there too.
....Try not to be too hard on your boyfriend tho. Men are raised to "fix
things"...he is seeing the same thing Akira is going through and what you are
going through and its tearing him up too...he doesn't know how to "fix it"
any more than you do, but see he's "SUPPOSED" to know...;-) so damnit
he's gonna try to fix it "if you would just let him"! :-) And what is
upsetting to him is that you "don't seem to want to let him help you
both." Now I know that Akira is your cat, and the decisions are YOUR's to
make, but your bf is scared out of his mind too...of loosing Akira, for his own
feelings toward her....and of loosing you, because right now, when all his logic
tells him you should be needing him the most..you seem to be pushing him away,
shutting him out, dismissing him, and he doesn't understand why. I truly
doubt he is TRYING to make you feel bad...he prob. just sees your rejection of
his suggestions as a rejection of HIM...Let's face it...this might very well be
the first time he's had to deal with death without Mom & Dad sheltering him
from it, or leading him through it...so now all of a sudden he's the "adult" and
he's going to help you if it kills you both! (Its very sweet...in a
way....as much as it is irritating.) He's trying to play guardian,
protector, savior, lover & Dad...he doesn't know where to put himself, any
more than you do right now...he's as scared as you...maybe more so, because
Akira isn't his so he can't actually "take charge"...he feels helpless too...and
since helplessness is a "weakness" he might be showing it as anger. I
don't know how to tell you to deal with him...I just didn't want you to think
that he is trying to hurt you...if he's never been demonstrative toward you
before...its prob. just his fear and confusion that he's transferring...
At least that's an educated guess from what I've read that you've
posted....if I've totally missed the mark...forgive me...just trying to
help. |
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