Hi all. Again I apologize while I try and figure out the "digest" mode. I realized I had missed a few posts- since they are numbered I know where to look now. I think I figured it out now but I am feeling a little brain dead at the moment.
Thanks to you all for your words of support. I never thought my messages to people in grief were helpful. I mean, how could they be? I can't make their pet come back and "sorry for your loss" doesn't seem to be quite enough. But now I know from the other end of the stick that it DOES help.
Miss Mouse and Barney seem okay. Barney sat with Andy this afternoon and kept trying to clean him up. Barney is the self-designated face washer. Cats, dogs, humans, whatever. If you sit still he will wash your face for you. And Andy loved it. So I didn't stop him. The dogs were surprised and suspicious that I allowed them on the couch with me this evening but I did. So it was me, Abe, 2 cats, a Great Dane and a Pitbull/boxer mix all on the couch. Just what I needed. Then the husband and I had 2 big old Rum and Cokes and strolled the yard. We did a huge amount of work this weekend outside and Abe said "well, the rum has numbed the pain in my body but not my heart." So true. I think it's harder for him because he won't let his feelings out. I just do my unabashed bawling without apology. He met me after his National Guard thing so he was at the vet in uniform. No way he'd
cry. Holding it in is so much harder. Andy was his special guy. At night he always says "but where's Andy?" And will go seek him out to bring him in bed with us. He doesn't do that with any of the others. So I know this is hard for him. He just keeps coming to me and hugging me but I think it's as much for himself as it is for me.
Well thanks to all of you for everything. I will take your advise. Now it's off for a hot shower and I am getting in bed. I was up until almost 1am just worried sick about Andy so I am exhausted anyway. Maybe I will be able to sleep in peace tonight knowing that he is. Glad y'all are out there. Goodnight.
Jamie
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