She's gone..Akira crossed over on May 18th at 9:30 am........She fought
so hard to stay....I fought so hard for her...this is so hard..let me start
from the beggining.....
I found her May of 2001, as a little angel in disquise....she was under a
car, in the rain, soaking wet, at my work.....on a cold day.....My assistant
manager acutally found her adn came running back in.. "Lisa there's a kitten
under a car...come quick" So I grabbed a can of kitty food and ran
outside...she was so tiny!!!!! and WOA was she full of spunk..even as
bad off as she was...she uttered one little valiant hiss at us....then she
smeeled the food..adn forgot she was afraid..We wrapped her up in my sweater
adn ran inside the store..at which point she decided to start SCREAMING at
us...(needless to say we got some strange looks from customers)
Once I had her settled in a little box..I realized how bad off she was....only
weighing 1 lb (mabey a bit more) and she looked to be about 4 months
old....she was SICK..her eyes sealed shut with gunk, something had attacked
her...picked her right up..she had scratches on one side and a abcess on the
other....she ate an entire cann of Friskies....after she was done ..this
little tiny soul...who more than likely had never known a kind human..or one
at all....was begging to be petted..she would jsut purr, and purr, and
purr..you would have never thought a sound so deafening could come out of such
a little body......then 3 days later my heart sank..we found she was FeLV +...
I was so scared and torn..she had touched my heart so much...just in those 3
days.....I decided to try and save her...and I did...she fought so hard..put
up with me poking and proding her, shoving God knows what down her throat to
get meds,and extra nurishment into her...we were fighting alot...she had FeLV,
was anemic very badly, had worms, a kitten flu, and URI, an abcess on her
side...it took a whole 3 days for her to even have a bowl or urine movement at
all..her body absorbed everything....and she took it..with out so much as a
complaint...she was so strong...on her check up her blood values were better
and she had gained 2 lbs..in a WEEK.....we were on the road....but still I had
to figure out how to beat this FeLV..I didn't know what it was.....So I got on
line..and everything I found was so disheartening..tehn I found this ONE LONE
SITE....the FeLV site....and it changed mine..and her life....I got the
Interferon, researched supplements, you name it..she got it...and she kept
growing and growing.....and getting more and more spunky..this little girl had
life in her!!!!.....How would she handle the dogs???? Hum...well that didn't
go over very well.... (mabey a dog attacked her???) more work to do..she
had to be able to get along with them..adn not stress herself out....so we
worked,and slowly but surely she was ok...adn tehn even liked the dogs..and
would play with my mini dachshund Lancelot...they would play "hide and go
pounce" which in their terms was taking turns chasing each other around
teh house..(and let me tell you...it is awful funny to see a 10 dog run by
with a 4 lb kitten on his tail..with her tail up in the air..in hot
pursuit!!!!)...then she would jump onto a chair..adn he would be looking all
over for her with no luck..when she would POUNCE on top of him..and off they
would go again...for hours!!! She had such a love for life.... she slept
with us every day...every night before bed and every morning before we got up
we would play "cover monsters" where she would attack the evil moving thing
under the covers....then in came her kitty brother....who we trapped feral,
fearing he was related to her..as similar as they were...and that he too would
have this awful disease..well he didn't ..YEA..but what to do now..more
research....we let them live togeather..SHE HATED HIM..absloutly loathed
him..she would hiss and attack ....(a whole nother side of my "angel" I had
never seen ) Indy...bless his heart just kept insisiting she
like him though...he took her abuse and purred and cued back to her....how
could he have not won her over?
Then one summer we got a chance to got to the outer banks of NC for
vacation....for free..couldn't pass that up...but what about Akira..couldn't
trust anyone to care for her...to make sure she got the perfect balance of
supplements...so she came with us on a 8 hr drive and a 3 hr ferry ride...and
she was a champ..slept in my lap the whole time...adn once we got to the
house..she of course hid....in a closet..but soon she was out and
about..exploring....always exploring...that's when I decided to see if she
liked it outside..we had allready been working on her walking on a leash...why
not?...SHE LOVED IT...it was like her true home...how awful of her to be
stricken with this awful disease and not to be able to live outside where she
was so happy...So once we got home...I continued taking her on walks..to where
she got to where she would beg to go outside and wait so impaitently to put
her harness on...
Then came the other 2 kitties...Mona and Spooky....Akira learned to
accept the others with grace..after all..it was her fault that I was so
attached to kitties now,....before I had found her...I didn't even really like
them.,..and surely never wanted one...much less 4!!!!...all was going
great....she even got to be on TV to help promote my fundraiser I did last
year, she even got to be the subject of several stories in a book that came
out not 2 weeks ago....(the week she started to fail and also my
Birthday)...
then comes the last awful 2 weeks .....she quit eating on May
1st.....ok..nothing to worry about..she does that sometimes...just force feed
her a few times and she'll be as goog as new...nope..not this time...this time
it was different..she wouldn't be force fed.....she didn't want to eat, she
wasn't going to eat...Off to the vet on May 6th (may 5th was my B
day)...she was BAD off..she had lost 2 lbs in a WEEK!!!! how is that
even possible....???and she didn't have any weight to loose and be ok...they
kept her and put her on IV's and drew blood nad other samples for testing...I
came back to see her that afternoon..she seemed better..much perkier...and
happy...yet she still wouldn't eat..even teh staff was having trouble force
feeding her..she DID NOT want it..in fact she just spit it back out...wouldn't
even swallow...the vet said she was feeling better b/c of the fluids......they
kept her over night on fluids....the next day the tests came back...well at
least most of them../teh lab didn't send her CBC back b/c it was so screwed up
they wanted a pathologist to look at it...ok..well tats bad enough news...plus
her liver values..and some others were WAY WAY out of whack...The FeLV was
catching up to her...I brought her home....I wanted her last days to be of
us..her family..she wasn't in pain..she was still allert..so why cheat her of
a few wonderful last days....we went outside every day, for hours...she would
just lay in the grass...mabey walk a bit...inside she lay curled in her little
bed I had bought her for the vets office kennel so she wouldn't be on just a
hard towel...she was so weak..but still so alert..intersted in what was going
on...but still no food..she wouldn't touch it....well things drug on...she was
getting weaker and weaker....so weak we really thought she should have passed
allready...we prayed for her a peaceful passing, a miralculous recovery..you
name it we prayed it..we told her it was ok for her to go...we
understood....the entire time I was so confused..so upset..I just didn't know
what to do....I wanted to try adn save her...but I couldnt....and even if I
could..would it be worth it to her? for her? was it to late to
change my mind...I could find SOME WAY...coudnt I....so then my boyfriend
Bobby said to me... "lisa the only thing we havent prayed for is an answer..to
jsut know what to do" So I did....I prayed for jsut to know what to do
without any doubt...that was May 17th i the morning....When I got to work
about 2 hrs later I got a phone call from Belinda..on this list..saying that
the emergency fund had teh money if I wanted to borrow it to save
her....before she eve said that..as soon as I realized who I was talking to..I
knew my prayer had been answered..I had an answer..I knew waht to do...the
only time during these 2 weeks I felt sure of anything....I was going to try
adn save her....God please dont let it be to late ....that morning I had
started trying to force feed her again..and she ate!!!!..not much but she
ate...so when I got off work...I fed her some more... I had called her vet at
home..adn set everything up..we would be there first thing in the morning to
have the feeding tube inserted and to run an ultrasound...So we went to
bed....In the morning when I woke up she wasn't in her bed..but on the floor
not 2 feet from where her bed was...laying face down on her stomach streched
out... ( not a comfy kitty position)...I picked her up to put her back in her
bed..and she moaned...she looked BAD..I begged her to just hang on a little
longer....and off to the vet I flew...the 45 min car ride turned into an
hour and 15 mins car ride thanks to construction....and she was getting worse
by the second....We got there at 8 am..only to realize that the office didn't
open until 9 am on Wednesdays..O in teh car I opened her kennel adn jsut
stroked ehr and pet her...her breathing had become so labored, she couldn't
lift her head...and she was hurting...this was the first time she had
hurt..adn it came on so fast...I felt awful...started crying..then I thought
to check her gums....she was bright yellow....How could it have happened that
fast? she had good color last night?...how could it have gone that
fast....When the vet opened of course every big loud dog and their loud owners
were there.....in the waiting room...so I try to check in..Im crying, the poor
girls are over whelmed by all the people..I tyr to tell them we arent on the
schedule..that I spoke to Michelle (the vet) last night at home....she just
didn't get it...finally I yelled at the poor girll "Akira is NOT NOT NOT doing
very well..could you PLEASE get us in a room away form all this noise!!!!
" She put us in a room...by that time I was balling...Michelle came in
adn took one look at her... "Lisa...you know she wont make it into surgery
like this "...I knew...I knew...it was just so hard ...." Lisa do you want me
to let her go?" Yes...I did..I knew it was time...as we had been walking
into the vet she let out the most horrific scream Ive ever heard...never had I
heard such a noise..that was her sign to me for help..she wanted help...I was
hysterical...Why would God have given me such a clear answer only to have it
be wrong?...Why???? Why give me hope..then crush it??? The office
had a really nice, calming not vets office exam table looking room for the
crossings....I was so touched..I had never seen a room like that in a vets
office before..it was very helpfull...And I let her go....I was so
hysterical....I told her I was sorry I couldn't save her again....that I had
tried....that I loved her with all my heart...and I was sorry....my poor
little Angel....it was so hard....and I was angry...why did God give me the
wrong answer??? It wasn't until later that day I understood...it wasn't
the wrong answer..but the right one...I just misinterpreted it....If I hadnt
made the choice I had to get her to the office for the treatment..she would
have gone at home..in terrible pain..even if it were some what quick...in
terrible pain...and with teh office being 45 mins or better away..there
would have been no one to help her when she needed it....She knew she would
need help, God gave me the answer I thought I needed to help her..but in a
different way...I couldn't even be in my house long that day....its ok
now..and while I miss her so much.adn a piece of my heart is gone..I am
strangely ok with everything....I cant explain it..nor am I even sure its
normal..or "right" for me to feel this way..but I know everything is ok....and
Im not upset anymore..allready....yet I worry about it..like I am not right
for that....mabey it jsut hasnt hit me yet?...I mean..I dunno...I know she's
gone..as I type this Im balling,if I talk about it at all Im crying....but
other than that I feel ok...What gets me so much more though is all the lives
that she touched in ehr short life....I never would have guessed and it makes
me feel so happy to know she helped so many kitties and their owners, all over
the country...it amazes me that jsut one little kitten could have had such an
effect on so many people..And I never realized it until I started getting
emails about her and what she has done for people when I posted she had gotten
sick...Her job on this world was to teach..and by God she did it...to people
all over the country via a computer and internet email list...
So in closing I would just like to ask that if Akira has helped you in
any ways with deciding about what to do with your kitties or anything..to let
me know...and let me know where you are too,....I am putting togeather a scrap
book of her life..and I cant think of any better of a way to honor her than to
have all those stories in her book.,...I will get the pics of her last days up
on teh web here very soon..I will post a link to them when I do...they are
some of the most beautiful picutres I have ever taken..and why shouldn't they
be??? they are of an Angel....a true Angel in kitty
form...Akira....
Lisa and the
furbrats
Akira in spirit and purring loudly on the All Mighty God's
lap, Indy, Spooky, Mona, Lancelot, Bowtie, Bennie and
Anza
