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If they don't understand what happened it unbalances their
world even more. I have seen it several times. One animal leaves and
the others have to reorder their lives--rearrange the pecking order. I
guess my point is to make sure they do understand what happened so they can do
their reordering.
Take care
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Sunday, September 11, 2005 11:23
AM
Subject: Re: [NMHP] One cat at the bottom
of the totem pole
I use both versions of Feliway, as well as catnip. Simon was
separated from them his last month, but I brought him in to see them once and
they did not really want much to do with him and he did not want to see them
either. Ginger was the only one who was really close to him, and she is
the most well-adjusted now. I think it is just that he kind of held their
little society together as the only one they all liked, and now they don't
have anyone they all like. Ginger plays all the time and Simon used to play
with her, so now she tries to get Lucy to play and that makes Lucy really
irritatated, etc. I do not really think it is that they are grieving,
but more that things just don't work as well without him.
Thanks,
Michelle
In a message dated 9/10/2005 9:48:28 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
I am a big believer in the spray version of Feliway. I
don't particularly like the plug in version. That, coupled with catnip
(fresh or organic dried) might help. Have you tried sitting down with
your little ones and explaining exactly what happened to Simon. They
may not understand. It is difficult to put such into words,
particularly when you may be telling them of their own futures, but they
really need to know what happened, why it happened, that it may happen with
them but that you will be there and listen to them and let them guide you in
your decision making process and, most importantly, that you will always be
there for them and the Simon is there for them if they will just be open and
let his heart talk to their hearts. They may be feeling lost because
they have no information. It is extremely painful to explain this so
have a box of tissues close but don't be afraid to let them see tears.
I found out three years after Allie died that Mai Mai didn't really
understand.....and I brought Mai Mai with me when I buried Allie, let her
see and be with Allie's body for a while.....I thought I did everything
right but obviously I left something out. You might try the Bach
remedies--willow for grief comes to mind--in their water bowl. Maybe a
combination of all of this and what others suggest will
help. They are very confused.
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