Re: My Beautiful Mandy and Julie

[Matchett]

Dearest Julie,       My heart goes out to you and your husband, I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. My name is also Julie. I discovered this group last weekend, after getting the devasting news that my beloved cat Jazzer is sick with FeLV. I haven't had the heart to post anything yet, but I've followed everyone's comments and especially yours because our situations so closely echo each other. Jazzy started going downhill two weeks ago, and after taking him to the vet twice, they finally made the diagnosis on Saturday. I have cried my heart out since that time, but am trying to put on a brave face for Jazzy's sake. The vet suggested putting him to sleep, but I just couldn't bear the thought of that. I've brought him home now, and he spends most of his time in a cardboard box in the bedroom closet, where he seems to be fairly content. He's still purring softly when I pet him, but shows no interest in food and not much more in drinking water. The vet prescribed Prednisone for him to try and stimulate his appetite. He fought us tooth and claw with the pills - he hates getting things crammed down his throat (I can't blame him - he's always been such an independent kitty) and we tried a liquid suspension formula with no luck either. I decided last night to stop the treatment because it doesn't seem to be helping much, if at all. It was breaking my heart to see him struggle so, and when I'd go into cuddle him, he'd sort of cringe away from me - I don't want him to spend the little time he has left with me being scared. Part of me really can't believe this is happening - I'm not ready to let my Jazzy cat go. He's been my greatest love for the past 11 years, my confidante, my friend and a part of my soul. I go to bed at night, and I keep expecting him to jump up and nudge my face like he does in the middle of the night, to let him under the covers. He's slept with me faithfully every night for years and I'm so used to falling asleep with his soft little purr in my ear and his warmth against my body. My heart is absolutely breaking apart...I want to thank you all for this support group - after reading all your posts, I can't think of a more supportive, warm, caring group of people. Even behind the scenes, you have all been a source of comfort to me, knowing that there are other people in this world who are feeling and coping with the same things that I am right now. God bless you all, keep your kitties safe and loved, give them tons of hugs and velvet paw kisses, and please, please, pray for my little Jazzy cat. Love to all, Julie