Re: 20 CATS...

[Nina]

Sandy, That's wonderful that you persevered and allowed the kitties to work things out in their own time.  How frustrating for you that must have been.  The first rule at my house is, everybody must get along.  There will be harmony, or else! :).  I'm a bit too alpha to not intercede in squabbles, (must be the dog trainer in me).  When a stray named Kimba adopted us and insisted on joining the family, we had a terrible time adjusting.  You can see his picture and plea for adoption at my website: http://www.companiondogtraining.com/kimba.html  Poor Kimba is socially inept and hated all cats, he got along fine with the dogs, but just couldn't seem to figure out how to be a gentleman around the adult kitties in our house.  I searched for another home for him for months with no takers.  In the meantime, he spent a good deal of time in the garage looking out at the rest of the family from behind a screen door.  I'd let him out when I had time to supervise, and the second there was any sort of squabble, back he'd go!  I kept talking to him and telling him the rules.  Slowly, he started to get the idea, if he started something, he'd lose his house privileges.  He so desperately wanted to be with me that it finally worked.  Now if I see him stalking someone, or getting that too tense for comfort posture, all I have to do is give him a little verbal warning and he backs off.  If Kimba can adjust, anybody can! Dudes wrote: Kerry, It's good and bad to know that these bedroom wars happen. What I believe happened in my case, is that my little Cricket matured to adulthood, and felt the need to assert herself. And I gave you the short version of the bedroom saga. The way things came to a head, all three cats fought in a flurry of teeth and claws. The male cat got in on the fight just because it upset him. Miss ended up with a huge abscess from an ugly bite on her abdomen, and she was very, very angry. I don't know who bit her, because fur was flying. After Miss healed up, she refused to come out of the bedroom for SIX MONTHS! I tried everything, kitty Prozac for one and then the other, and at one time both of them (made them both sleepy and zombie cats), Amitriptyline, Feliway, nothing worked. I even considered contacting Sonya Fitzpatrick, the pet psychic. I was so desperate to right things. Miss had her food and litter in there, and she stayed put. I could tell she missed being with her people, because she would walk us to the door whenever we left the bedroom, but she would run and hide if she saw one of the other cats. She could see us in the den from the bedroom window. And it just broke my heart to see her looking at us, I could see her meowing for us to come and see her. But she would absolutely not be moved from the safety of the bedroom. I spent as much time with her as possible, but then I was neglecting everyone else. But then slowly, she'd allowed me to carry her out for short periods of time before she'd panic. And then we worked up to other rooms of the house for a quick look around before she got upset. My persistance paid off. One day, she crept out of the bedroom cautiously. She stayed out longer and longer, hiding under a chair, and dashing off to hide under the bed less. Finally she decided it was time to join the rest of the family, as if it had been 6 hours, not six months. That was three years ago. Now she and Cricket have this mutual understanding and tolerance. Miss steps aside if Cricket is around. Cricket doesn't even have to flex a whisker. Cricket might be the smallest, but she managed to overturn the position of alpha female. Sorry that was so long. But I thought it was worth telling. I hope if anyone else ever has a situation like this, they give it a LOT of time to resolve. Sandy