RE: Kerry and Tiger

[MacKenzie, Kerry N.]

Title: Message

>>>Damn, I'm long-winded when I get started!<<< Not in the slightest! All terrific stuff, Nina. And a most useful skill, I would think, when it comes to authoring books...   I'm going to do all of what you say Nina, with the exception of allowing him to trump Katyis...for I'm concerned that my topcat Katyis will become (even more) upset. Katyis is more visibly (and audibly) upset than anyone by Pookie's arrival. The others (Tiger and Trixie) are now able to share the same room as Pookie without throwing hissy fits. Katyis won't even come into the bedroom at night now (never mind take up his years-long favorite spot on the bed) because of Pookie. And he still throws hissy fits at him every day when they happen to cross paths in the kitchen or living-room. Katyis is my first cat and I'm already feeling guilty about the probability that he thinks he's been usurped in my affections. That's why I try to make sure he's the first one I pick up every night. I honestly don't feel good about changing that -- it just wouldn't be fair to him. Having said that, I will definitely make a special time for Tiger. (There's not much he doesn't like in the treat line.) And have a talk along the lines you suggest. I'll keep you posted.   Thanks--I really appreciate your time, ideas and input! Kerry -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Nina Sent: Monday, November 21, 2005 1:55 PM To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Subject: Kerry and Tiger Hey Kerry, I think it's a wonderful idea to take notes and see if you notice a pattern.  I'm very pleased to hear you don't think it's health related.  Even though figuring out behavioral stuff can be tricky, I'd rather deal with the mess, (after all, you'd have to deal with the mess either way), knowing it's because of some sort of behavioral/environmental complaint.  That is interesting that he has associated your home coming with defecation!  A couple of the things you've said have me wondering if it has to do with his being needy of your attention.  You did just bring a special needs kitty home that's hogging your attention as well.  It's a shame that Tiger has to be medicated to help him remain calm, I'm assuming that's what the "kitty Prozac" is for.  This is what I'd do...  First of all, I'd forget all about trying to "maintain" hierarchy.  That's not really your place anyway.  The kitties will deal with that themselves.  If someone needs more of your attention, you should give it to them, if you can.  I'd start by, yes, here we go again, having a talk with Tiger.  Even if he doesn't understand you, he'll appreciate the extra attention.  Tell him you understand that he's upset about something and that you're trying to figure it out, (we humans can be so thick sometimes!).  Let him know that you appreciate him sharing his house with kitties in need and how happy it makes you to help them.  Talk about why it's unhealthy and upsetting to you when he doesn't use the box, (that includes knowing that there is something that is making HIM unhappy).  Tell him how very special he is to you and why.  That from now on, you are going to do your best to lavish him with attention and make sure he's happy.  Pick a time of day that you can devote to him, take your cue from him, when is he most likely to seek you out?  Do the things he likes to do during that time, if he likes to be brushed, brush him, if he likes treats, give him something special every day.  It doesn't have to be a long time, but it should be the same time every day, make it part of your routine.  Maybe Tiger's time can be just before, or after you give Pookie his subq.  That way he'll be rewarded for being such a noble little gentleman and sharing you!  Remind him that he doesn't have to poop outside the box to get your attention.  Make sure when you walk in the door, you seek him out and tell him how very pleased you are to see him and to be back home with him.  Go ahead and talk to him first, if someone else is rubbing on you at the time, by all means pet them and tell them hello, but be looking for Tiger and approaching him to give him some love.  Since he likes using his box when you come home, maybe after you greet him, you could walk him over to his favorite box and while you're cleaning it out, invite him to use it.  If he goes, tell him how wonderful he is and that you're so glad he understands that you want him to use the box! Damn, I'm long-winded when I get started! N MacKenzie, Kerry N. wrote: Nina Yes, I did indeed get the email from you (about medical possibility/low litter/new litter) thanks v. much and thought I replied but I bet it's still in my outbox, I'll check tonight. He goes about once every 2 weeks outside the box. I haven't been able to detect a pattern, BUT I thought I would start keeping notes and maybe that will give a clue. He seems ok in every other way. Eating, drinking, picking fights with Trixie, wanting attention, etc. I wonder if this throws any light: for years, I noticed that as soon as I came home from work, every night without fail, Tiger would go to the box and do his business. It was such a pattern that I asked my vet what he thought. He gave me a wordy and (to my mind) jargon-laden explanation, the gist of which I believe was, he's just very excited to see you. I remember Trixie, completely out of character for her, going outside the box poor love when 4 members of my family stayed with me for a week. She must have been totally stressed out, for this was the same fastidious Trixie whose behavior mystified me way back in the early days when she used the yucca plant instead of the box 2 days in a row until i realized *I* was the problem---I'd put the litter box cover on back to front and she couldn't get to it. I believe it's stress-related with Tiger (he's on kitty Prozac). I don't think it makes him happy at all that he has to share me with other cats and has never been allowed to usurp Katyis (topcat in our house). I've always been at pains to maintain the heirarchy. Tiger was third to arrive, so he has to wait his turn after Katyis and Trixie for the petting etc. Kerry =00 IRS CIRCULAR 230 NOTICE. Any advice expressed above as to tax matters was neither written nor intended by the sender or Mayer, Brown, Rowe & Maw LLP to be used and cannot be used by any taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding tax penalties that may be imposed under U.S. tax law. If any person uses or refers to any such tax advice in promoting, marketing or recommending a partnership or other entity, investment plan or arrangement to any taxpayer, then (i) the advice was written to support the promotion or marketing (by a person other than Mayer, Brown, Rowe & Maw LLP) of that transaction or matter, and (ii) such taxpayer should seek advice based on the taxpayers particular circumstances from an independent tax advisor This email and any files transmitted with it are intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify the system manager. If you are not the named addressee you should not disseminate, distribute or copy this e-mail.