Re: Cotton

[Kerry MacKenzie]

Sandy, just want to say that although I have no advice to offer---you've had and will have excellent and detailed feedback from members far more experienced than me---please know I'm thinking of and sending prayers for you and dear Cotton. I'm glad your little furball is so loved. Also, please never feel you have to explain yourself or your actions----all of us know and understand that anyone who has found their way to this list, by sheer virtue of the fact they're here, wants desperately to do everything within their power and financial capability to help their much-loved kitty. That is taken as a given, and I'm truly sorry you felt that you had to justify your thoughts or intentions, for you do not. We are simply all here to support each other in whatever way we can as we strive to do the best for the little souls that share our lives. We all instinctively know that you are doing everything you possibly can to help Cotton, and we also sadly know the sorrow and the pain and the compromises entailed in that struggle as you strive on a daily basis to make the right decisions for Cotton.  Again, you don't have to explain your actions---be assured you will always have our unconditional support. Sending much love and big hugs to you and Cotton. Kerry     ----- Original Message ----- From: Dudes To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2005 10:57 AM Subject: Re: Cotton Michelle, please don't say it's ridiculous, because I already feel guilty enough for trying to please everyone.  I may not have a choice, and I just have to do the best I can for Cotton with my resources and my situation.  My husband Eric makes 3x the money I do, and has the final say in things like this, especially if it is a significant amount.  It's just how we do things.  He enjoys my cats', but notice I say they are my cats.  He does not enjoy the bond or closeness I feel with them.  I would do anything to save them, but he does not feel the same way I do about Cotton's treatment.     There are many people in my life who feel the same as Eric, and don't feel like I am doing the right thing, they think I am throwing money away for trying to buy him quality time.  I feel like I am not.  And I think it is a good lesson to my son that life is to be respected and is worth saving.  Unfortunately he's learning this in a very intimate way this time, because Cotton is his love.  I intend to see it through to the end.    I feel like I have taught him this by the squirrel lives saved in my work in wildlife rehabilitation, which was also expensive.  Zoonotic formulas are very expensive.     So I am fighting an uphill battle with Cotton on many levels.  I have to justify and fight for every step.   So I will do what I can as soon as I can.  I couldn't bear it if any of you thought that I was being lax or casual about Cotton's treatment.  I wouldn't be here if that was the case.  My heart is breaking as I write this, knowing what I know.  If I had my way, we would have done these tests weeks ago.      Sandy