Re: OT: Dreams

[Lernermichelle]

I have been following this thread and wanted to say something, but I can not figure out what it is that I want to say.  I have longed for a sign from mine also, and fear that the lack of a sign means either that there is nothing after death or that they are mad at me for what I did or did not do in their last days.  When I have seen them in dreams, I do not know what that means either. All of it is painful. If the good dreams about them are a sign of something, are the bad dreams about them a sign also? Because I have a lot of those too.    I relate to the feeling of thinking Maizee jumped on the couch. We used to take our dogs in the car a lot to go to conservation land for walks, and it is only recently, almost 8 months after our last dog died, that I have stopped thinking they are in the back seat.  There are certain words that Gray and I used to have to say in code because the dogs understood them and would get all excited (e.g. walk, hungry, food, grandma -- they loved my mom and knew her by "grandma").  Sometimes we still find ourselves avoiding those words, and when we realize we don't need to anymore it really hurts.  I feel like I see Simon every time I see a picture of a round-faced orange cat.  It has gotten to the point in our house where most weeks have a death anniversary in them.  This Saturday is Buddy's.  It is about all we can do sometimes just to go on. Michelle   In a message dated 1/17/2006 5:58:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Wendy I feel the same as you do.I am still waiting for a sign that she forgives me and knows that I love her so much.It is very hard for me still and it has been 2 months since she left me and I still have really bad days where I cry my heart out.I keep asking her if she sent Rafferty to me,he is such a sweetie,he helps me on my low days.I know we will heal to a point where we can think of them and not cry.I have had a few weird experiences since she passed,my boyfriend and I both have. I was eating popcorn and watching ER one night and it felt like she jumped on the couch next to me.I just smiled and said hi Maizee.I wasn't even thinking about her at that moment.Maybe if we don't look too hard for a sign,they will let us know then. Sherry