Marrissa,
Very touching story that you wrote about Jake. Unfortunately
can't view the pictures since it said it is timed out hopefully
later I can open and view the pictures of Jake. Sometimes we
find that certain cat that seems to touch us in a little
different way than the others.
Please know that you did the best for him and when they loose
that twinkle in their eye I think it's there way to let us know
it's ok to say goodbye they are ready.
Brings back some last moment memories of one of mine that last
that twinkle and all I could do was cry because I knew it was
time to say goodbye.
I know that Jack has touched you in a very special way and will
be with you forever in your heart.
Carla
Message: 11
Date: Sat, 4 Mar 2006 18:13:48 -0500
From: Marissa <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: I lost my Jake
To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
Message-ID:
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
I had to let Jake go. He kept getting worse and worse. He was
barely
moving, breathing really hard and panting, no control of his
bodily
functions...he was ready...I tried feeding him w/ a syringe and
also with
baby food. He wouldn't let me open his mouth and if I did
manage to get
some in there, it would just sit there...he wouldn't even
swallow. He
looked at me like "why are you doing this to me." It killed
me. I hope he
knew that I was only trying to help him. His HCT was down to
8. He was
miserable, and I decided that it was selfish to put him through
more when it
was so bleak. I wish I wish I wish I had caught it earlier and
he would
have had time to see if he could respond to the treatments he
was getting.
I am of course second guessing myself and wishing I could do
things over
again, etc. I know it's normal to do that, but it's so hard.
By the time I
finally let him go, he wasn't even there I don't think..empty
look in his
eyes....I think he was already gone.
I miss him so much. I only had 5 months with him but it was
filled with so
much joy. Jake (full name Jake Ryan after the character in the
movie 16
Candles) was given up by his previous owner to a shelter. Not
sure why, I
guess you never do. The shelter usually puts down cats that
are FELV+, but
they fell in love with him and gave him a second chance. Jake
is one of the
friendliest, most playful, warm, sweetest cats around. The
shelter gave him
to the rescue group I used to volunteer for. I was looking to
adopt a cat
from the group since I was moving to NYC. I didn't set out for
a FELV+, and
didn't know anything about it, but he was just to precious to
live the rest
of his life in a cage, which is what was probably going to
happen. So I
took Jake with me, one of the best decisions I have made. He
had a rough
go, constantly fighting URIs, diarrhea, and finally the anemia.
But he
never lost his spirit. Everyone who met him fell in love. He
didn't
deserve to live such a short life (he was about 2 1/2), but I
am glad I was
able to make the end of it a happy one. He was so
affectionate. Would
literally rub everything in sight! My favorite thing was
putting my knuckle
a few inches above his head and he would get on two legs so he
could rub.
He just loved rubbing! He would also love climbing on my
dresser while I
was sleeping, and he was bored, and taking out my jewelry from
my jewelry
box and throwing it on the floor.....it drove me crazy but I
would give
anything to be able to be driven crazy again!
I posted some pictures of him:
