Re: OT: question - getting along

[Nina]

Hi Terri, Hmm...  It sounds like your little Guine is just not as sociable as her brothers would like and expect her to be.  I've noticed that when my established guy's efforts to make nice overtures to newcomers are continually rebuffed, they get annoyed and start giving the new guy something to be nervous about.  Maybe it's something like that.  You know, "I've tried everything I can think of to put you at ease, and still you act like I'm not to be associated with.  If that's the way you feel, take that!". When I'm introducing a new member who has socialization issues, (very few don't!), I feed them small amounts of something yummy next to each other.  Sometimes I have to start with them on the other side of the room from each other, but eventually I get them eating side by side.  I'll call them and tell them it's treat time, pet one and then the other to get their scents on each other, tell them how proud I am that they're becoming friends, etc.  I'll ask whoever's being the bully in the situation to help me by being friendly, or leaving them alone.  I'll tell the scaredy cat that their behavior isn't necessary, that they are safe and I will step in if things get too heated. Have you noticed this behavior at any specific times?  Are they always like this when they come nose to nose with each other?  Is there anytime that Guinevere seems more apt to welcome the boy's advances?  You could try adding some RR to the communal water bowl and see if that helps.  Have you sprayed Guine's bedding with Feliway?  It sounds like she's the one that needs help recognizing that she doesn't have to be so nervous.  She may just want to be left alone.  If you think that's the case, I'd ask the boys to lay off her and give her her space.  I'd warn them everytime they try to engage her, to leave her be.  If he doesn't listen to you, step in between them and block him from her with your body, backing him gently out of her "space".  Then shower him with attention, telling him how proud you are that he's respecting your wishes and leaving her the heck alone.  Not everyone has to be cuddly with each other, but in my house, I do my best to enforce the first rule:  Everyone must get along!  Momma's nerves are too rattled as it is.  I can't stand those hissing and growling spats! Nina Terri Brown wrote: Hey gang,   Since I am not able to do it myself no matter how I try, is there anyone on this list who might be able to tell me why my Siggie is so aggressive with Guinevere?  She is VERY intolerant of him.  Anytime he gets near her, she gets very bent out of shape, and will usually end up running away from him.  Sometimes he will let this go, but other times he will attack her and bite her.   They're both FeLV negative, so I'm not worried about that, it's just that I can't seem to make Siggie understand that his little sisfur Guin really doesn't want to be pestered by him.  I don't get it what it is between the two of them.   Travis sometimes goes for her too, but I get the VERY strong impression that he's just playing (he's still a kitten, but getting VERY big).  She just has no interest whatsoever in the boys.   Thoughts?