Oh Kelly what a sad story about Max. When you feel remorse over what
happened when he left you, please do your best to conjure the memories
of all those years of love and life that you gave him instead. Not that
I don't understand your torment over it! I believe your sweet Max is
watching over you and I'm sure that your continuing to suffer, long
after the fact, is not a comfort to him. I wish I had an answer to why
such things happen to us and those we love... Sometimes it's clear,
often times it takes time and distance to put things in perspective,
sometimes we never know, (I have a list of questions that I will be
expecting answers to when my time comes!). When Spencer went missing, I
did my best to make sense of it. When I thought that I had figured it
out, when I had made peace with his decision to leave, he came back to
me. Thank you for letting me know that the thought of Spencer's return
brought you a momentary smile.
Life is a head scratching, heart wrenching, joyful, loved filled
journey. I know I'm not wise enough to have the answers. In fact the
older I get the less I seem to "know". All we can do is the best we are
able. When we do that, when we are guided by love and faith, we may
still have regrets, but no reasons for self recrimination.
Much love to you my dear,
Nina
kelly wrote:
At 09:09 AM 9/9/2006, you wrote:
I am so glad Spencer is feeling better.....Yesterday it was a trying
kind of day,,,at the vet as usual,,But I was sitting there and this
Smile just came over me and I thought SPENCER came home.
It made me realize just how attached I am to all the babies on this
and the other lists I belong to ...and how I cry when one crosses over
but the joy and happiness I feel when there is news like this.
Many years ago Nina I had a long haired male who had mega colon and
for 10 years I needed to help him defecate. He was getting old and
would love to sit out on our lawn and sun bathe,,
Then one day he was not there,,,,,For days and night I searched and
cried and slept in a chair by the front door,,,in retrospect what i
think happened is he used to like to get in the bed of my sons pick up
as it was warm. I think perhaps my son drove off too fast and took him
somewhere,,,I grieved for my Max ,,,and to this day there is really no
resolution, The guilt is horrible, In my heart I personally do not
believe they make a deliberate decision to die alone, but as I said
earlier, they hide when they feel ill so they will be safe from
predation,,,I am soooo glad Mr. Spencer is at home with those that
love him and even better that he is doing better.
Thanks for the good news
Kelly
