I'm so sorry..
I know how hard it is. If my boyfriend hadn't bee holding me when I put my
second FeLV kitty to sleep I really think I would have snatched her from the
table and ran, even though I knew it was the right thing to do.
I had the vet shave some hair from the belly of one of my FeLV cats after he
was PTS. He had the most beautiful golden belly fur. I put it in the jar with
his ashes. Now I can "pet" him any time I want.
Beth
Marissa Johnson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Hi all. I guess I need to complete the updates on Slinky, huh?
Yes, he went to the bridge last night. I was having second thoughts all day
yesterday...he, of course, perked up a bit, sat in the window sill again
(hadn't done that in ages), and was still drinking, eating, and breathing fine.
I even started to wonder if his nose looked pinker.
But I decided to go to the vet appointment and ask her what she thought - and
that all important question, "what would you do if he were your kitty?"
Right before we left I think I finally understood that it really was time.
It occurred to me that on Sunday he was very cuddly with me and initiating some
cuddle time on his own. But yesterday he didn't want anything to do with me.
And when we left the vet on Monday, someone said he'd tell me when it was time,
and I remember thinking, "I think he already has told me" but I didn't want to
believe it. I think his spirit left on Sunday...I think all that cuddling was
him saying goodbye and beginning to get ready for the journey.
So we went to the vet and I asked her if she thought his nose looked pinker.
She looked at his gums, etc. and assured me that they were not. I was tempted
to have her do another CBC, but that seemed like just adding to the torture
he'd already been through. Without my even asking, the vet said, "If this were
my cat, this is what I would be doing. Not only is he not getting any better,
but he's actually getting steadily worse...and he's just going to suffer if we
wait much longer." She of course pointed out that I had the option of waiting,
but that seemed like it would just drag out the inevitable. He was so weak the
last couple days that he couldn't even get back on the bed once he'd gotten
down.
The vet explained everything in detail and even shaved some of his fur for me
since I'd forgotten I wanted a sample (good cuz what she got was way better
than anything I could've gotten with a scissors). Then she gave him the
tranquilizer (I think she did it quickly so I wouldn't have time to change my
mind...knowing that was best for me and for Slinky). She said it would take a
few minutes for it to work, so they left and I just held him and cried and told
him how much I loved him. Thanked him for letting me share in his life and
told him I was giving him the only gift I could at this point. The room we
were in had a beautiful painting of the bridge, so I showed it to him and told
him that was where he was going.
They had put a sheep skin-like pad on the table and when they came back I
laid him on that and put his head on his favorite pillow (he loved to knead on
this "sqush" pillow I have). She thought they might have to put a catheter in
his front leg to get the needle in since his veins were so small, but she was
able to do it in his back leg. Once it was in, I just held him and cried and
cried some more. But I know he was in peace.
He visited me this morning - as I was waking up I could hear the birds
outside my window and I distinctly heard a meow (I remember thinking that I
didn't know of a bird that meowed). When it happened I got chills. And when I
woke up fully I realized that he was letting me know that he's happy and he
loves me.
I'm actually doing much better than I expected to be. After the vet
appointment my friend took me out to dinner and then to ben and jerry's
(self-medicating is always good!), which distracted me and that helped a lot.
Of course when I got home I completely lost it, but I knew that would happen.
I called "dad" and he was wondeful about telling me I did all the right things,
that he loves me, and not to worry about paying all those bills back 'till some
time in the future.
Today I relaxed in the morning and then went and got my hair cut (my stylist
is "dad's" partner and the owner of the salon...so he has lots of experience
with losing kitties) and did some shopping. I got a stuffed kitty that looks
just like Slinky, so he'll be my new sleeping buddy. I thought I would lose it
when I came home tonight, but I just choked up for a bit and really was okay.
I know all the prayers and thoughts everyone is sending me are helping a ton!!!
I think half the population of the US is praying for me and checking on me!
You guys have been absolutely amazing and having people to talk to who've
been there and understand how this is has been an unbelievable help! Thank you
all so much for all your support!!!
I know this is kinda long, but since you've all been reading so much about
Slink, I thought you might want to know some of the details of his crossing.
Thanks again for everything...I know I couldn't get through this without you!!
Love to you and all your furkids!
MJ
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