I'm so sorry, Cassandra, I know how awful it feels to lose a baby
from anemia and/ or lymphoma. And to be haunted by the way they
die. But I do find that sometimes what haunted me can change in my
perspective and no longer haunt me. Tomi was so fortunate to have
found you. May you find blessings in your memories of Tomi.
Gloria
On Jun 24, 2007, at 3:05 PM, C & J wrote:
I've just lost my closest friend other than my husband. Tomi and I
have had a special bond ever since my husband brought him home. My
husband was out walking the dog by the river in October of 2004, on
a cold and rainy day. There was a kitten crying in the trees, cold
and wet, and my husband couldn't just leave him there. I wasn't
impressed at first, since we already had 4 cats, but Tomi quickly
won me over. I've had a very close bond with him ever since.
He was very timid at first, hiding whenever there was a strange
noise or person, we often wondered how my husband was able to catch
him to bring him home. His tail had been broken at the end at one
time too, it sort of looked like a question mark when it was
straight up. Tomi quickly came around though and trusted us,
though he still always hid when any strangers came to the house.
Tomi was the type of loving boy that always acknowledged your
presence when you touched him or talked to him...or even looked at
him sometimes. He never showed any signs of annoyance when I gave
him too many hugs/kisses, and never got angry.
3.5 months ago when I found out he was anemic and had FeLV, I was
devastated. I watched him slowly decline for nearly 2 months until
he crashed and I was sure he would die. Amazingly he bounced back
and gave me another good 8 weeks with him. Except during this time
I had to watch Koda and Kisa (Tomi's close buddy) get sick and die,
so I didn't get to spend as much time with my Tomi as I would have
liked.
Then just a few days after Kisa died on June 12, Tomi got sick and
crashed again with the anemia. He was having a hard time
breathing, and again he bounced back. Last week he had a huge
appetite, eating everything I gave him, and drank lots of water.
Yesterday, he started to crash again.
Today, he was eating a little bit of liver I gave him and still
drinking, but his breathing was becoming more labored. Then around
noon, he began panting, and I watched him die in a way that will
haunt me forever. He was so scared and crying because he couldn't
catch his breath. This is absolutely the worse thing i've ever
experienced.
A huge part of the happiness in my life is now gone. I guess i'll
just wander around like a zombie for awhile, and maybe the pain
will eventually turn to numbness.
Thank you all for the support you've given me through all of this.
It looks like this ordeal that has been going on nonstop since
March 9 is now over.
Cassandra
