-----Original Message----- From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] Sent: Monday, March 20, 2000 11:59 PM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: March 21 - Owner's Guide For Cats =================================================== J O K E - O F - T H E - D A Y . c o m =================================================== "The World's Largest Daily Joke List" TO JOIN *100% FREE* 1. Click Here: http://www.joke-of-the-day.com OR 2. Email us at: [EMAIL PROTECTED] =================================================== ******************************************************************* 2 FREE AIRLINE TICKETS -- WHAT COULD BE BETTER? ******************************************************************* Buyers' Reward is giving away 2 FREE AIRLINE TICKETS on airlines like United, American, Continental and others. CLICK NOW for yours: CLICK: http://www.cheetahmail.com/ad/1982264/16982/air_t Plus, as a bonus, you'll get a FREE 30-day trial membership to Buyers' Reward ...saving thousands of dollars on nearly everything you buy! CLICK HERE for your FREE deal: CLICK: http://www.cheetahmail.com/ad/1982264/16982/air_t ******************************************************************* Rate the Joke below! and *** FORWARD TO FRIENDS *** Spread The Fun JokeMaster's Note: ================== The plumbers came yesterday to repair a burst pipe. Today they're here to fix the repair job they did yesterday. I just hope they're finally done ruining my bathroom. Yesterday's COURTROOM QUOTES got a 5.0 from Joke-Of-The-Day members. Joke for March 21, 2000 OWNER'S GUIDE FOR CATS - submitted by Sir Reginald Fluffy-Mittens ____________________________________________ Cats are beautiful, sophisticated, intelligent creatures. And with a little love and caring, they can keep a human being alive for upwards of seventy to eighty years. If you follow these simple instructions, you can have your human housetrained in no time. CLEANLINESS: For some reasons, humans seem to enjoy immersing themselves in running water. Attempts to get humans to lick themselves clean have proven interesting, if unproductive. COMMUNICATION: Humans are unable to speak a proper language. Therefore, you should communicate a point loudly, repeatedly, and if at all possible, at about three in the morning. Any attempts at human-to-cat communication can be dealt with by simply ignoring it until it stops. FEEDING: Morning feeding should start promptly when your human is fast asleep, preferably three or four minutes before the alarm is supposed to go off. Recommended methods of waking your human include: sitting on its face, screaming in its ear, and biting its hair. MATING: Human mating behavior is fascinating. Unfortunately, humans tend to get easily spooked by prolonged study of courtship rituals, and resort to shoe-throwing behavior. TOILET TRAINING: A human's natural tendency is to not change your litter box. Although experts in human behavior believe it can be attributed to the "laziness reflex," this can be easily corrected through what is called "shoe therapy." Just remember that a human shoe looks a lot like a human toilet, and you should be fine. Following these simple tips is the first step towards a long and productive cat/human relationship. *** http://www.Joke-Of-The-Day.com *** ******************************************************************* 2 FREE AIRLINE TICKETS -- WHAT COULD BE BETTER? ******************************************************************* Buyers' Reward is giving away 2 FREE AIRLINE TICKETS on airlines like United, American, Continental and others. CLICK NOW for yours: CLICK: http://www.cheetahmail.com/ad/1982264/16982/air_b Plus, as a bonus, you'll get a FREE 30-day trial membership to Buyers' Reward ...saving thousands of dollars on nearly everything you buy! CLICK HERE for your FREE deal: CLICK: http://www.cheetahmail.com/ad/1982264/16982/air_b ******************************************************************* -------------- RATE THE JOKE: From 1 - 7 (1 = Lousy, 7 = Hilarious) -------------- 1. If you received this e-mail directly from Joke-of-the-day.com then hit "REPLY" and type your rating (1 - 7) in the message and send it. OR 2. IF THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN FORWARDED to you, then send e-mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with your rating in the message. You will also be automatically subscribed to the list ------------------------ GENERAL INSTRUCTIONS ------------------------ 1. SUBSCRIBE: By Web: http://www.Joke-Of-The-Day.com - Subscribing by web is the preferred method. By Email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] 100% FREE 2. 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