and the tears flow as I read your email. It doesn't matter how many
furbabies you have, each and every one is special and it hurts tremendously
to say goodbye. You made the right decision, he is no longer in pain and is
now whole again, with many sweet babies to play with. He is a very special
new angel. I have seven cats, when I lost Ping it ripped my heart out. We
do understand. Please remember that he knew he was loved and left this world
happy. Hugs.
Genie, My sweet Angel Ping,
Samantha
and the gang...
In a message dated 4/30/01 8:08:29 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
Subj: It's never easy to say goodbye my darling Spider
Date: 4/30/01 8:08:29 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sender: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Reply-to: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
It's never easy to say goodbye........
I have shed so many tears with this group in grieving for others
losses of their furbabies. Now I am sorry to say I have to shed
tears for my own baby this time.
This Thursday I had to make the toughest decision in helping
Spider to the Bridge. Spider lost his battle with cancer this
Thursday. Three months ago we found out he had cancer . I don't
think Spider would of made it aslong as he did if it wasn't for the
good vibes we received from this group. And not to mention thanks
to suggestions of herbal remedies and appetite stimulants that
keep him going.
Spider was a cat I adopted for a friend but her daughter was highly
allergic and ended up in the hospital. So my boyfriend keep him at
his place till we got a house together. Spider was more his cat
than mine. He seemed to bond with him. He was quit the talker
when Danny spoke with him. Spider was our only indoor/outdoor
(against my wishes) kitty. As years rolled by we started
to keep him in more especially after I lost Chewy to a one time
escape to the outdoor ( 3 months later we lost him to felv/cancer.)
I live on a dead end street and all of the neighbors got a kick out of
Spider when we moved in. He would walk down the street as if he
owned it. He would have stare out contests with the neighbor hood
cat across the street. He had a feral friend named Hobo, I was told
by my neighbor that she would see the two walking side by side.
Spider's best friend was Dewey;one of our cats.
When we first found out of the cancer Spider was allowed only out
for a morning stroll. We did not want him to get into any fights or
conflicts with other cats. My vet was surprised how good he
looked and how he was behaving. He would race outside to check
and see who was on his property sharpen his nails on the wooden
fence he was eating wet and dry and playing with Dewey
not like a cat who had a month or so to live. He let us know he
wasn't too happy with our decision in not letting him out to much
by Spraying a few things and beating up our other cats. (5 cats).
He was 10lbs for years and went to 8lbs. Our First visit back to
the vet he was 8.5 in 12 days. Next visit was 9lbs 10 days later.
His next visit he gained only 2lbs. He now was becoming more
fussy and would have a choking fits 5 days after he went to
the vet for about a few minutes. I could see the shots were not
lasting as long. I gave him his tea when he labored in breathing and
it seemed to help. The next visit he only gained 1pound more. That
was on April 20th. The vet said as long as he is gaining and not
losing he's doing good he would have good and bad days.
It seemed it was downhill from that Sunday on. He did not want to
eat so I gave him a pill which usually made him eat anything within
an hour. No luck in my heart I knew this would be the beginning of
the end for me. The week before I couldn't believe that Hobo
came to our door and stared in at Spider as if to say "Can't you
come out and play any more?" It surprised me how Hobo seemed
to know. I even tried the pill twice a day which I was suppose to
give him 2 times a day but since he was eating good and the pills
made him a little drowsy I only gave him one. He seemed very
down he slept and looked down he was sleeping in the closet
when I got up every morning. I was now getting up earlier and
earlier trying to get him eat his last days I was getting up an hour
just to get him to eat. I was keeping in mind what the vet said
good days bad days but when you have 5 or 6 bad days you know
time is nearing. I decided to make that horrible appointment for
Thursday still hoping that he would turn around. As tears flowed in
my phone call I knew I had to do it. He ate less and less each
day. Even his favorite Nutra Cal wasn't doing it.. Wednesday night
was the worse he woke me up with horrible straining coughing and
threw up. The next morning I smelled something and he had wet
my bed Thursday was the worst morning he ate 1/6 of a can and
laid back down. He looked bad. I knew at this time I had made the
right choice for that night. I told Danny we would give him a few
days and the few days were up. I was dreading this day all
week knowing what was ahead. We did not want to loss him nor
did we want him to suffer.. When I came home for lunch he wanted
to go outside which he has not done in a week. He even took a few
licks of food. He pranced out like he was back to his old self rolling
in the sun in a pile of dirt. He even played with a branch with a
leave on it. Now I was confused and not sure what to
make of him. Making thinks harder when Danny came home he
was ready to go outside again.. Danny was trilled that he was
rebounding but said he had wet in our garage. I wasn't sure if he
was losing control of his bladder or was his body was shutting
down?. But how could this be he seemed like nothing
was wrong till I tried to feed him. I said if he wasn't eating I
wouldn't keep him hanging on air. As we took Spider outside in is
carrier he was purring and meowing. Spider has always been a
talker. Danny kept saying he's fine we will just get him a shot,
Spider was giving me a birthday present by turning around (26th
was my birthday) so I agreed we would see what the vet thought.
The sadness feel in my heart as I had that gut feeling that this
would be the last time we took him. In fact Hobo was sitting
next to the car when we came out. We put the carrier down and
both cats stared at each other. I think Hobo sensed he wasn't
going see his pal anymore and figured he'd wait around and say his
good-byes. I started to cry when I got in the car. This was the
longest ride to the vet I every took to the vet.
When we went in I told them I wanted to speak with my doctor
before I PTS. I was thinking of another injection. We went into the
room and waited and of course Spider was making this hard by
meowing and purring. When my vet came in I told him how my
week was. He looked at Spider his gums did not look
good they were bluish. I told him I wanted to weigh him before
making any desision.. When he came back with his weight all my
hopes had fell he was back to 8.5 pounds he lost almost a pound
in 5 days. My vet looked out me as the tears rolled down my
checks he said if I wanted to take him home for 24 hours he said
he could understand considering how hard it is PTS when
he is purring and being very out going. He told be sometimes they
get very active before the end and he felt it was getting there. So
he left the room and Danny and I talked. I knew in my heart and
with the vet telling me waiting another 24 hours I knew his time was
near and I was afraid he would have a bad night. Even though
Spider seemed to want to stay his body didn't want to fight it
anymore. And then while Spider is meowing and purring
he started to choke. The vet came in and Danny left the room he
could not deal with staying in the room. I wanted Spider's last
vision to see me petting him and talking to him. As I put him on
the table I promised Spider the vet would make him feel better and
me worse. It's never easy saying goodbye....�..
It made me even sadder (if that was possible) when we brought him
home I let the rest of the cats say goodbye. They all walked in a
circle smelling but Dewey ran up with his hair up and ran frantically
around the kitchen. Dewey and him were best buddies. The next
day I buried him at my mom's with all my others little ones. Most
people would think I am nuts to be upset I have 5 others plus my
fosters. But all of you who have multi cats know that each
one is special in a different way. I guess the 3 months of extra care
with Spider made me feel closer to him than before. I know he is
in a better place playing with all the other fur children but I still can't
help feeling so sad and guilty the way it had to end..........
Thanks for listening.
Carla
& Spider
