Melissa, I'm so sorry to hear the sad news about Growler. I can well
understand how the fact she was your first taming success makes losing
her even harder to bear. It is such an agonizing decision, to have a
kitty put to sleep. My own feeling is that if life has become painful
and pleasureless, and without hope of improvement, it is by far the
kindest to do. You loved and cared for her from the day she came into
your life, and from everything you say, it was truly the best final gift
you could give her. 
love and hugs to you, Melissa, and hoping you're comforted by the good
memories of your precious time with Growler, Kerry


-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On
Behalf Of [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Tuesday, January 11, 2005 11:42 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: third try, Growler is gone


The kidney workup came back normal and the CBC  came back normal, if 
indicative of an FeLV positive status (slightly anemic,  slightly
elevated white blood 
cell count, all normal for an FeLV positive cat).  The doctor was able
to 
rule out infection and kidney problems, leaving two real  options:
either Growler 
had suffered a traumatic injury to her spine (and one  which didn't show
up 
on an x-ray and which would require invasive testing to  diagnose), or
the FeLV 
had invaded her bone marrow and in particular her spine.  The doctor
stated 
that he had only seen the latter happen once in an FeLV cat,  but the
symptoms 
seemed similar.

The pain meds and steroid only made a  minimal difference at first and 
gradually, her condition worsened. She was  confined to a crate for
crate rest but 
even still, she got to a point where she  wouldn't move and where if I
pinched 
her back feet she made no effort to pull  them away. She still had
neurologic 
function in the legs and feet, but she was  otherwise in too much pain
or too 
weak to respond. 

Her condition was  stressful to witness and began, I believe, to
distress the 
other animals in the  house. Even Wynnie, a hostile cat at best,
worriedly 
passed Growler in the crate  and occasionally paced by her. I made the
decision 
this morning not to subject  her to invasive testing as treatment would
likely 
not be without risk, and would  likely be lengthy and painful with no 
guarantee of success. I felt she had  suffered more than enough and the
best I could 
do was help her to her final rest  and peace from pain.

It was not a decision I took lightly; Growler is the  first animal I
have 
ever personally had euthanized. She was my special little  girl, my
feisty little 
runt and mama's kitten. I will miss her sweet little face  so very much.
She 
was my first lap cat and my first real taming success. I  didn't want to
let 
her go, but I guess Zest needed her more.

Melissa in  NJ  


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