Re: I'm losing my Gypsy

[Nina]

Thank you Kerry.  At least we know we're not alone in our anguish (and our joy). Nina Kerry MacKenzie wrote: Dear Nina I'm so sorry to hear about Gypsy, Nina--and so sorry too that you blame yourself and are going through all this anguish. But Faye is right--you did your best at the time and that's the most anyone can do. I know that I'm likely making a lot of mistakes too--every day I learn a little more from this wonderful group, and I'm very much still at the stage of, the more I know, the more I know I don't know. These little souls are utterly dependent on us; I think that's what makes us so anguished when they begin to ail. It's such a huge responsibility trying to do the best for them when we're up against this disease. Given that Gypsy was on the street, you gave her a far better, higher quality life than if she'd stayed there. If there is such a thing as reincarnation then I would count myself extraordinarily lucky to come back as a kitty in Nina's home. This morning the same thought re assistance in passing for Levi crossed my mind. The vet had tremendous difficulty last week finding a vein in the little mite's leg. She had to go to 3 legs. I didn't realize such a problem could exist. I have the same thoughts as you. If Levi has to be euthanized I will be haunted for ever after if it involves extra distress. So I'm praying that he will go on his own when the time comes. Although I'm not counting on it. I need to know if there is a 'better' way to help them pass--a way to sedate them maybe so they don't suffer unnecessarily. Perhaps this is where the valium comes in that I believe Michelle mentioned earlier. Sending out positive vibes and healing thoughts for Gypsy. And big hugs to you,Nina. Remember, you did the best you could. love, Kerry ----- Original Message ----- From: "Nina" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <felvtalk@vlists.net> Sent: Monday, January 24, 2005 4:41 PM Subject: I'm losing my Gypsy Hello Everyone, I'm so distraught about my Gypsy. She's the "feral turned house cat" that I've written to you about before. She's had Inflammatory Bowel Disease since Aug of '04, and nothing I've tried has helped her. I given her Prozyme, Probiotics, Pred shots, Flagil, Benefiber, I've even started adding Colloidal Silver to her food. She has wasted away to a walking skeleton and hasn't played in months. The problem is compounded by not being able to put her in a carrier and take her to the vet, it's just too stressful for her (and at this point the sedative needed to allow her to be handled, could kill her). Even the house vet that came out wasn't able to examine her. He prescribed Methyprednisone shots (every 2 weeks), along with Metronidazole liquid that she took in her food for about 15 days before she started to refuse it. I've called a highly recommended East/West vet that I hope will be able to give me more ideas. I had tried putting her on a novel protein diet, but she stopped eating. When I began giving her the foods she loves again, she seemed to gain a little weight, but this morning she refused her favorites (salmon and liver). I'm afraid I'm on death watch at this point and it's killing me. One of the most disheartening things about her condition, is that I think I'm responsible. I didn't know the dangers at the time, and I was doing my best to protect her, but I think I inadvertently gave her this condition when I had her vaccinated. She had been vaccinated once, when I first trapped her, and then spent months with my FeLV kittens (before I knew their status). She was negative when I tested her, and I had them give her two more series of shots afterward. The vet (someone I won't use again), mistakenly gave her a total of 3 rabies shots along with all the other vaccines and it was only a month later that she started showing her symptoms. I took a healthy, vibrant kitten off the street, exposed her to FeLV and then gave her IBD with too many vaccines! I can't tell you how miserable I feel. Thank you for letting me vent. I'm so frustrated and heartsick. I don't think I even have the option of helping her cross. How peaceful could it be for her to have a strange person trying to give her a shot? Not to mention, trying to find a vein to put it in. I feel like I'm going to vomit. Nina