On Sun, 8 Jul 2007, Jared Waddell wrote:
> Pretty good. Time to put on a skirt and play Consistency Fairy, however.
> Right near the end, where he leaves the table and enters the bathroom for
> the last time, his arrogance seems to be slipping.
> It would be slightly
> more ironic if his last thoughts before entering the room were more about
> his conquest. That way he goes from being hunter to hunted in the space
> of a few sentences.
>
> There's your two cents of advice and a nickel of worthless rambling.
>
> Later,
> Rick "Who doesn't drink the kool aid." Spiff
Thanks. That makes a good deal of sense. I'll take a lok at it in the next
couple of days and maybe do some tinkering.
I think by the very nature of it being a a story based on HPL's stuff it
falls into a predictable ending though which is okay I guess.
Neil
>
Seraphim, the Restless Angel with a (borrowed) sword.
_______________________
Robyn, Duke of Amber. Agent of Chaos.
***************************************************************************
---
.-------Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List--------.
| Administrators - [EMAIL PROTECTED] |
| Unsubscribing - [EMAIL PROTECTED] |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`------------ FAQ URL coming soon.... -------------'
