> > "What's the latest news from our patrols?"
> "Farmer Mack lost his cow again, the Chevy brothers were > caught
vandalizing Presea's outer wall with obscene grafitti, > and a drunk Ascot
and Caldina jacked one of Mokona's
> flying dishes and led the Royal Guard on a high-speed
> chase around Windam's shrine. Captain Hummer just sent > that to Cephiro's
Wildest Videos."
> "Really? That doesn't sound exciting enough for them."
> "It wasn't, not until Caldina thought tossing her top at the
> guards would make a good diversion."
*dies laughing* Nice :)
>> "Not good. The sporadic reports of crops dying and trees
>> rotting...it's become more widespread. And now there's some kind of
>> plague. Animals are dying, horrible new monsters are appearing...the
>> land itself is dead in places. It's getting worse by the day."
> You know that's going to cause unrest among the people,
> which, in turn, leads to more monsters popping up. That's
> not a vicious circle, that's a downwards spiral.
Oh, it gets even worse than THAT.
> Hm. Who's doing the reporting, here? The dialogue
> suggests that Clef opened with the request for news, so the > way the "And
the Pillar?" question is made comes off as
> insubordinate, or at least not as respectful as it should be.
Well, just assume it's Lafarga. :)
> > *Umi. Fuu. Hikaru. I'm...sorry.*
> Well, yeah... but you'd also be a LOT more useful as the
> High Mage (or whatever his title is) if you went out and
> _did_ something to help, instead of standing around
> watching the land deteriorate and bemoaning your fate.
Clef is a master of delegation.
> Same deal with the uppercase "E" here :)
It's a copy-paste, so of course it's the same error. :) Fixed.
>> "What did we just LAND on?" Ryouga asked, picking himself up.
>>
>> "It fish. It too too big fish. It flying."
> Fyula: *chirping angrily* I'm a Summoned Monster, not a
> ferry service! I bet Bahamut doesn't have to put up with this. > ;_;
*snrk*
>> "How the hell did we get here?" Ryouga asked.
> Like _he_ should be asking that kind of question :P
Heh.
> Though I wonder if Hikaru herself had been in that situation > while in
Jusenkyo/in Ranma's body, or if she just went
> directly (or almost) from "drowning" to "waking up at
> Fuurinkan."
Hmm. Hadn't really thought about that.
...not going to, either. :)
> Lacking a body, does he "look down" and "see" himself as a > wispy
apparition? Or is he a disembodied point of view?
He's a floating point of perception. He can "see" and "hear" in all the
usual ways...it's just that his projection remains unmoving.
> It'd be funny, though... since Clef manifested mostly through > Mokona's
gem, if Ranma could appear on there too.
Heh!
> So secure your trays and return your seats to an upright
> position already. And, Fuu, use of electronic devices is
> forbidden at this time, so put away your DS.
*Fuu quicksaves on FF4DS*
> Um, did Fyula drop them off at the castle, or at the cliff?
He dropped them off wherever the hell Clef was, which is neither place. :)
>> "That's what WE wanna know!" Umi shouted, storming up to the mage and
>> leaning down to shout in his face. "Haven't you and your princess done
>> enough damage? What the hell was the point of bringing us back here?"
> Wow, unusually restrained for her. All things considered, I'd > have
expected her to pile-drive him into the ground at first
> sight. :P
Heh!
> (...as an aside, although MKR2 can explain who/why/how
> they were summoned back, it would make for a unique plot > device if
Emeraude or a similar power had called them
> precisely to _end_ the Princess' suffering.)
Well, let's just say that knowing how both the anime AND manga versions of
MKR2 end will help you figure out just what the hell brought them back to
Cephiro. :)
>> "Also, your appearance has changed considerably," Clef noted, studying
>> Hikaru.
> Clef: *thinking* Yes, _considerably_... H_H
*all the girls mallet Clef*
> Hmm. Throughout this scene, many paragraphs start with
> "Clef [action]ed. The weary sigh from various characters is
> also starting to get repetitive. I suggest shuffling around the >
paragraph openers and substituting reactions for responses > with similar,
but not identical, attitudes.
Yeah...this is one of the things I have the most trouble with,
stylistically, and even when I'm actively trying to avoid it, it STILL
happens. -_-
*snip note about Clef's reaction*
You know...you're probably right about that. This may call for an extensive
rewrite of that scene...
> Er, a sudden change of subject ^^;; Again, considering
> Clef's usual demeanor, I'd have him wallow on his shame
> and sympathy a little longer before bringing up the plot.
Well, Cephiro is kind of dying around them, much like it did in MKR2 (if not
quite as rapidly)...he's kind of got other things on his mind... ^^;;
>> "During the third week, Princess Emeraude fell into a death-like
>> sleep. No healing magic we tried roused her. Zagato has stayed by her
>> side the entire time.
> Some help _he_ is. Meanwhile, a little elf boy in green robes > is working
hard to find the Triforce of Courage, all on his
> lonesome.
Heh!
>> "You've got a hell of a lot to answer for, pal!" Ukyou cried, marching
>> across the room and grabbing the priest by the front of his robes.
> Heh! An impressive feat for a sixteen year-old Japanese girl, > seeing how
Zags could dwarf an American basketball
> player :P
We're talking about a girl who swings around the spatula that ate Manhattan
here. :P
>> "He has allowed himself to wither," Clef finished.
> That's counterproductive. If he really loved Emeraude that
> much, he'd put all his will into projecting himself as a pillar of >
strength (er, no pun intended.) Then again, the fact that
> she's in a death-sleep and can't actually receive his support > (or could
she?) makes it a moot point.
Zagato's emofagging. He's a biseinen. It comes with the territory.
>> "The spell I cast was intended to erase you from existence.
>> Permanently." Zagato sighed.
> Ukyou: You're not helping your case, jackass.
No kidding.
>> "Shut up..."
>
>> Clef coughed.
> I don't think the dejected "Shut up..." is needed there. That, > or make
it an exasperated "Oh, shut up." instead.
Good call.
>> "Poisoning the water supply," Clef said, shaking his head. "A
>> deliberate act...unthinkable."
> "Nothing can beat the music of hundreds of voices
> screaming in unison!" *tinny laughter*
> "...oh, great, it's this clown again."
Heh!
> Where is the grubby peasant getting his educated vocab? :P
>From Communist propaganda tracts, of course. :P
>> Clef froze in place when he heard the man's dying scream. He then
>> bowed his head and sighed. *Zagato...*
> Er, even if he was unwilling to reveal his master's location,
> they could have wringed some other info out of him before
> killing him ^^;; Like, where he got the poison, for instance,
> and if there were others in his group.
I thought it was clear that Zagato killed the man out of anger, without
premeditation...
>> When Zagato finally caught up, Clef
>> shot him a look of admonishment. "Was it absolutely necessary to kill
>> that man?"
> This one wasn't Outlook's fault. I caught it in the RTF file too.
Huh. It's not showing up in the working copy, so it must be in the export
copy this time.
(For those who don't see these things as they develop, let me explain:
Because I am severely visually impaired, I read and write at 20 point bolded
Courier in Wordpad. It's the only font size I can comfortably read at
length. When I've got something ready to be beta-read/posted, I create a
second copy of the RTF file, reformatted to 12-point Times New Roman. From
THAT file, I export to Outlook for mailing to the FFML.
Occasionally, odd line breaks form in the transition process, usually the
fault of Outlook. None of these line breaks exist in my original 20-point
Courier RTF document, or in the eventual HTML exports which I format rather
more carefully.
We now return you to the regularly scheduled C&C reply, already in
progress.)
> Idle thought: Zagato's references to "analyzing" stuff make
> me consider whether Cephiro has any sort of scientific
> culture. Beyond Middle-Age farming technology and
> whatnot, I mean. Given the world's inclination towards
> magic, I keep thinking of a squad of wizards gathered
> around all this evidence and trying to conjure out clues from it.
Heh! That's basically what it amounts to. Clef and Zagato are the two most
powerful mages in Cephiro, they can easily analyze things like this.
>> "Hikaru-san, please do not do this to yourself."
>
>> "Yeah! Maybe Clef isn't as smart as he thinks he is!"
> For one thing, he's completely unfamiliar with Earth magic :P
Heh.
> Well... it does raise the question: what about all the other
> people/animals who fell in the spring?
OK, I'm going to sort of break flow here and explain my rationale for this
happening to Hikaru and nobody else:
Keep in mind that Hikaru has EXCEPTIONALLY strong willpower--strong enough
that she became the Pillar of Cephiro at the end of MKR2. My working theory
(ie, the basis for the bullshit that drives this fic :P) is that Hikaru's
strength of will is the reason she alone became a "trapped-ghost" in
Jusenkyo.
Now, that logic doesn't completely explain why it took 1500 years for her to
emerge in a Nyanniichuan victim--I'm still working on the bullshit for that.
:P But by the same logic, the reason her problem is as severe as it is, is
because it's Ranma she emerged in--possibly the only victim of Nyanniichuan
whose strength of will is stronger than Hikaru's.
>> The four of them stood lost in their own thoughts for a time.
> Good thing Ryouga wasn't present. He'd have ended up in
> Shampoo's thoughts somehow.
"Aiyah! Pig-boy get out of Shampoo head!"
"But it's so roomy in here!"
> "Who might thou be, to enter my abode without
> permission?" asked a giant wolf seemingly made of fire.
> "Uh, I'm just a guy from another world...?"
*SNRK* Ryouga probably WOULD end up there without knowing it....
>> *SNAP-THWIP!* Something tied itself around Ryouga's ankle, and before
>> he knew what was happening, his feet were yanked out from under him,
>> and the world was suddenly upside down.
> ...and his bladder gave out.
Whereupon his name changed from "P-chan" to "I. P. Freely".
> Oh, she's going to have FUN with those daydreams when
> she finds out he transforms into a small, edible, piglet...
Heh!
> I only have experience with the Mexdub, so... is Ferio really > that
formal?
Not even remotely. He's faking it to keep up his "I'm a prince" schtick. :)
>> "Hey, y'heard? Them Magic Knight gals're back."
> ...and, having since watched _other_ characters with Kansai > dialect, I'm
suddenly seeing the role of Caldina played by
> Osaka.
> X_x
That would be...very, very weird. @_@
>> The latter was hovering on a jagged chunk of rock which had numerous
>> small pebbles rotating around it.
> Aaa, I see that the divergent timeline got to him too. Is he
> his usual, pre-MKR2 self, or did Umi and Fuu's terrible
> experience (and Hikaru's death) affect him somehow?
He's a lot less changed than he was in the canon. Just assume that he got
his attitude adjustment, but didn't develop his crush on Umi and didn't grow
into a tree-boy.
>> Some time had passed, and more to have anything better to do than sit
>> around brooding, the Magic Knights and the group from Nerima
> They need a group name. Something like "The Property
> Destroyers."
Well, the proper fanon term is "The Nerima Wrecking Crew", but I'd rather
not use that in narrative. ^_^
> *whips out Pokedex*
> [Mokona: An insufferably cute Bag of Holding with a
> mysterious secret. Do not feed after midnight. Its natural
> enemy is blue-haired fairies, and it likes to nest in the
> bosom of young girls.]
Heh!
> All things considered (as in, that being female-Ranma
> nuzzling Mokona)...
> @_@
Heh!
>> Mokona glanced up at the source of the voice. "Pupuu?" Hopping out of
>> Hikaru's arms, Mokona examined Ranma's floating projection, then
> ate it.
You know? I almost DID actually do that.
>> Akane laughed. "I think he likes you, Umi."
> I still say Mokona's a "she" :P
Someone's forgetting the skirt incident. :P
>> After over an hour of study, he'd finally completed his analysis of
>> the poison the traitor had used, and it was not pleasant.
> "Aaargh! I never understood chemistry. Now, alchemy,
> that's more my style."
Ironic comment!
>> Dark eyes alight with anger and the promise of vengeance, High Priest
>> Zagato strode purposefully down the corridor, ready to begin an
>> entirely new war for his beloved.
> o.o
> Scary.
Ain't it though?
>> Zagato shook his head. "I'm afraid the responsibility for ending this
>> lies with our army. We must search the whole of Cephiro, and destroy
>> every document bearing the Marquis' seal. And, if necessary, arrest
>> those possessing them."
> Is there even an army, though? Cephiro's "peace" with the
> Neighboring Countries is maintained by the Pillar's ability to > keep
invading forces at bay, and what little armed forces
> there are belong to the Royal Guard. I see how there could > be some minor
force to patrol the land for dangerous
> monsters, but a bona fide army?
Well, by "army" that's pretty much exactly what he means.
In other words, they lack the necessary force to really patrol ALL of
Cephiro.
> (You do know, having learned his identity beforehand, I
> thought that the "blood-red gemstone" was SOMETHING
> ELSE entirely.)
Shhhh!!
> ...somehow, his speech reminded me of the one Vayne
> gave at the beginning of FF12.
Stock Imperial Rallying Speech #427.
>> "Blauer Schlag," the dark figure intoned.
> Translation plz ^^
"Blue Strike". The Black Magic Knights' spells will all be in German. Is
there significance to this? Only the Shadow knows...
> To be fair, it's not as if Fahren's ninja were anything but
> faceless mooks.
This is true.
>> "Grünes Vakuum."
> Traducción, porfa ^^
"Green Vacuum".
> Oooooooooooh, I wanna see how one of those reacts to the > still-ongoing
Pillar System. :P Especially since an innocent
> party suffered dearly because of it.
Oh yeah, Lantis is gonna have a lot to say about things.
> Will part 3 go the way of the original, and imbue everyone
> with magic? I dunno if you have anything special planned,
> but I feel it'd be more fun to let one or two of the NWC tear > things up
naturally by their own means, kinda like Ferio,
> Caldina, or Lafarga.
Well, they'll be given magic and weapons, but...well...they ARE the NWC.
They'll more or less rely on their own strengths.
Thanks for the C&C!
================================
"Sheik Protein? He's a mean ol' ass, Cid."
~~*~~
The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com
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