BAPTIST DINNER

A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to
get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of
the house was to prepare the meal.


When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo
all the others. Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But
mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, "No mushrooms. They
are too high."


He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those
mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."


She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison."


He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK."

So Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and
diced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and
gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol' Spot ate every bite. All
morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to
affect him, so she decided to use them. The meal was a great success, and
Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. She had on a
white apron and a fancy little cap on her head. After everyone had finished,
they relaxed, socialized, and played 42 and dominoes. About then, the helper
lady from town came in and whispered in Janet's ear.
She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot is dead."


Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the
doctor and told him what had happened.


The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will
call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. We'll give
everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will
be fine. Just keep them calm."


Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.
The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema,
and pumped out their stomach.


After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think
everything will be fine now." and he left.


They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about
this time the helper lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that
ran over Ol'Spot never even stopped."

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