So I guess we all have to agree that if a tree falls in the forest with nobody around, nobody is ever quite sure if it makes a sound. Maybe, maybe not. And if a person wants to say they are a composer, then they are, because I know of very few people who haven't made up little ditties to hum or whistle.

Hi, I'm from the New Groves Dictionary of Music and Musicians. Are you a composer?
You bet your sweet ass I am!
What'd you compose?
Well, a couple little things.
Can you play them or hum them for me?
Well, no, I sort of made them up and then forgot them.
Can you point me to anybody who ever heard them?
Well, no, I was in the shower alone at the time.
Sorry, but you don't make it into Groves this time around. Next time, be sure to wear a tape recorder around your neck!
Ah, man, c'mon! All the folks on the Finale-list say I'm a composer because I once made up a couple of things, even though I can't remember them and have no clue how to write them down! Please can't I be in Groves!
Well, why didn't you SAY so before! If the folks on Finale-list feel you fit their definition of a composer, then you are IN! Of course you are a composer, and your entry will be on page 1,248,382 of the edition due out in 2385! Here is a ticket so your heirs can pick up a complimentary copy and read all about your 15 seconds of improvised fame!

Next?





--
David H. Bailey
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