I still can't sleep.

They'll hit boston, I say.
They'll hit boston 
and everyone I know will be dead
except for you.

"You're an idiot. 
Everyone you know will be dead.
Including me." 

I can't bear it. 

"Of course you can't. 
You weren't meant to.
That's why we have television,
god, heroin, and small talk."

That's why I have you. 

"..."

Maybe I should watch TV.

"You're a coward."

I'm paralyzed.

Suddenly:

I'm not afraid of dying.
I'm afraid of living,
and dying just means 
I wasted all my time.
Everyday is wasted
in ten thousand ways
if I am not infinite.

Some time passes.

"You watch too much TV."

I've been waiting for you to come back.

"I know." she says. "and I'm sorry."



-e.

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