From An Unpublished Collection of 117 Poems Based on 117 Phobias:
Number 35, Dishabiliophobia-  Fear of Undressing in Front of Someone.

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Can I bear to show you my chest, when you might know me best
through the aid of some fashion? Should I stand to feel your eyes
on my slowly revealed kneecap?

This knee is every knee. A collection of bones
made to rotate in one direction. And this thigh is every thigh.
I move in many directions; and this thigh...is every thigh.

I am tired of revelations in the flesh. I am tired
of exposing places without wounds; as if skin
was the only history of soreness.

Can I bear to take away my personality, and leave you
with full sight of what every person looks like? Is there
something beyond this skin that makes it so important?
Because if I am without this armor of identity, I am open
to your interpretations, and your estimations, and this
I am not so sure you deserve. I can only undress
when you would still see choices covering my skin.

If you were to watch me undress, you could not catch sight
of my soreness. You may mistake my leg for any leg;
my back has no marking factors, except the yearning
for your touch. But to watch me undress: I need you to see,
beyond the clothing and beyond it's abscence. I need you
to feel me, somewhere; or else I will be terrified,
demand you leave the room. Bodies are not designed
to be seen; and these souls are growing dimmer,
as the lamp is set to low.


-e.




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