I have a pile of letters with blurred signatures Mountains of photographs with blank faces all these words inside my heart slowly fading into an observant silence. I think there is something more important than zealotry in love; something small that can calm me. If I had wanted a sea I could be an alcoholic; If I want storms I could cast a net ashore, capture silver streaks by the thousands pull them into my ship, tear them open to be devoured. But I stay on land, build cathedrals in the center of town. One way to defy gravity is to rest your head on empty spaces and hope they will sustain you. If you are right- there is no God in this room anymore: just statues, pictures without faces, letters without signatures, a phone book with names I swear are spelled incorrectly; and the world? What is this world but other people, and myself? Myself; I can be content but if that's all there is, there is no reason to take any extraneous steps, no need to put Joy outward. Some days I cannot take a single step without hope for us to change, without believing that we are not defined solely by what we have been but by what we will be; and I cannot find a sole motivation besides it. I surrender the idea of zealotry in love. Something small that can calm me: I am focused; content; real. Adjectives, not verbs; while you want to be falling, burning, racing, speeding: I am content with describing stillness; and this is why I am growing desperate. Though I have been severed I have never felt alone, until now. Even the new girl isn't home. I am waking you from sleeping and the sun is setting on a perfect day My eyes are dry but I am exhausted from entertaining the notion that we are unclear on this: You are more to me than passion. When we set each other on fire the foundations stay intact. You are the last pure reason for hope; the singular source of faith in any better version of myself; you have helped me build this center; you have hoisted ropes and built yourself permanently inside of my soul; nothing else- not the best of words, or the worst- can change my soul from yours. As if these trifles we invented have ever mattered; if we argue over semantics in some short meeting if I am not your best friend and we are not in love if we do not even get along on a daily basis it doesn't distract me from the most important element that for me to be who I am; who we are is who WE are and there is not much else besides. -e. _______________________________________________ Five7Five mailing list [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.pairlist.net/mailman/listinfo/five7five
