HA HA HA... LMAO... This is sooo true.... LOL... It's a couple of these that I have hid... 13, 20, 16, 14, its a couple of them... lls
On Sun, Aug 30, 2009 at 9:12 AM, MS. SHAN <[email protected]> wrote: > > 1. I am constantly testing you. I observe, analyze, and judge every > action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial expression. When I ask you > if you want to have a threesome, I DON”T MEAN IT. If you want me to > speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this conversation, > the answer should always be, “Why would I want to sleep with another > woman when I have you?” > > 2. My body really isn’t naturally this hairless and smooth all over. > But I will never allow you to see any indication whatsoever of all the > shaving, tweezing, waxing, exfoliating, and moisturizing that gets it > this way. > > 3. I fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before we > actually first got naked. > > 4. I only appear to have it all together. My true organization (or > lack thereof) is revealed in my closet, my makeup bag, my desk files. > > 5. When I say, “I`m ready,” I`ll need exactly 7 more minutes to get > ready. Don`t try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; I > will still need an extra 7 minutes. > > 6. When I say, “I`ll meet you in 15 minutes,” I mean I will leave in > 15 minutes, and thus won`t actually arrive for at least 30 (but > probably more like 40). > > 7. I want you to talk a little dirty. > > 8. I check out your butt every time you leave the room. > > 9. I need constant indications that you want me around. That`s why > it`s better for example, to say ” I want you to come away with me for > the weekend. Could you come with me?” than to ask. “What are you up to > this weekend?” > > 10. I love it when you get a little jealous. So if you ever see me > flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another > guy at a party, know I ` m actually flirting with you-through him. > > 11. Even if I insist on paying or splitting the bill on our first > date, I’ll think you're cheap if you let me. > > 12. When I’m falling in love with you, I completely lose my appetite. > > 13. I’ll never tell you exactly how many men I’ve slept with. No > matter how sincere I appeared when I answered your question, chances > are I wasn’t. As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she’s > slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven. Her > fib is partly intentional (she doesn’t want to appear a floozy), but > mostly it’s sexual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter > never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her official score > sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an omission: The actual sex > lasted only a few thrusts; or she was drunk or on the rebound. > > 14. I have Googled/Facebook/Myspace your exes. > > 15. At the beginning of our relationship, I save all of your voice > mails and listen to them (and make my friends listen, too), > repeatedly. > > 16. I want you to take control in bed. Yes, I have a successful > career, I’m financially independent, I live on my own, and I don’t > need a man to make me happy (in theory). I still want you to pick me > up, carry me to the bedroom, and take me without asking. > > 17. I split the cost of my fashion purchases over two or more credit > cards, so you don’t notice the gargantuan deficit. > > 18. I start fights with you because I’m feeling ignored. I’m trying to > force emotion out of you. Don’t retreat into your cave: just give me > what I want: some attention. And never tell me to “calm down” unless > you want to guarantee that I absolutely won’t. > > 19. When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old T- > shirt because it smells like you. Exaggeration but you get the point. > > 20. You’ve made me cry more times than you'll ever know. > > 21. I obsess about when you’re going to call me again. The period of > time between our first date and your “Thanks for a great night; when > can I see you again?” always seems stretched into slow motion. So > don’t worry about looking too eager. Call. Even if you only wait until > noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to me. And don’t send > me an e-mail unless you want me to put you in the figurative trash can > along with your message. > > 22. I might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave my legs to > prevent myself from getting naked with you too soon. However, this > sometimes backfires when I get a lil tipsy or carried away.
