Hi all, I often get humour e-mails from some of my friends who work in offices. I'm posting the following one because I think there is definitely a fluxus sensibility about it, lots of little event scores I think. cheers, Sol. ------------------------------------------------------------ The winner is the first person to reach 50 points. Your attempts need to be verified by either a player or non-player. ONE-POINT GAGS 1. Run one lap around the office at top speed. 2. Ignore the first five people who say "good morning" to you. 3. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye." 4. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. 5. In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out "Yahtzee!" 6. Walk sideways to the photocopier. 7. While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. THREE-POINT GAGS 1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers. 2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it." 3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice). 4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight). 5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting. FIVE POINT GAGS 1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself). 2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times. 3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob". 4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go and do number twos." 5 After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent, as in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for 'Tree' hours mon. 6. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!" 7. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again." 8. In a colleagues diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights." 9. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?" 10.Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." 11. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk. 12. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your trousers/skirt and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
