To unsubscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ================================================================== T H E T O P F I V E L I S T Brought to you by the letter " " ================================================================== --~~== Get FREE STUFF! ==~~-- Hundreds of topics available -- All delivered FREE via email! http://www.topfive.com/nc.htm ================================================================== Today's Classic Top5: New Slogans for the Republican Party Read it on our website: http://www.topfive.com To subscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED] February 6, 2001 NOTE FROM CHRIS: Exiting staff members of the Clinton administration pulled a prank in which they removed the "w" key from keyboards in the White House to welcome the incoming administration of George W. Bush. Thankfully, e don't have to orry about stuff like that around here... The Top 14 ays To Annoy The George . Bush Administration 14> Do ngrade presidential cable service; no more Cartoon Net ork. 13> Program the President's teleleprompter to duduplicate syllabubles. 12> Update return address labels to: Extremely Pale House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue North-But-a-Little-to-the-Left Cleanington, D.C. 20500-0003 11> Hide the hiskey. 10> Hang a portrait of President Clinton ith eyes that follo Bush around the room. 9> Start campaign to get Katherine Harris listed in " ho's ho in American Government." 8> Schedule eekly intervie s ith Barbara alters, then ask the hite House secretary for phonetic transcripts. 7> Tell George the missing letters are in the corner of the Oval Office. 6> Circulate fake staff emails using the phrase " ays in the military"; see frantic aides search for any other missing keys. 5> Rene all the adult magazine subscriptions delivered to "Occupant - 1600 Pennsylvania Ave." 4> Keep reminding them that " e on" just on't ash. 3> Refer to the hite House as Compound Dubya. 2> Every damn question at every damn press conference: " hazzzzuuuup?!?" and Topfive.com's Number 1 ay To Annoy the George . Bush Administration... 1> Ask hether they noticed any particular fla s in last year's election process. [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ] ================================================================== TopFive.com -- The best in original humor! Seven newsletters -- no waiting. http://www.topfive.com/subscribe.html ================================================================== Rumination of the Day I tried to get my new girlfriend to sleep with me, but she claimed she was saving herself for jewelry. (Dave Henry) To subscribe to Ruminations: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ================================================================== Selected from 91 submissions from 49 contributors. Today's Top 5 List authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Fran Fruit, innetka, IL -- 1, 9 (6th #1) Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 2, 9 Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 2 Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 2 Troy Roberson, Birmingham, AL -- 2 Jim Griffith, Sunnyvale, CA -- 3, Banner Tag Mark eiss, Austin, TX -- 4 Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 5 (Hall of Famer) Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 6, Topic Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 7 (Hall of Famer) Dave Gouds ard, Harrisburg, PA -- 7 Kevin ickart, Normal, IL -- 7 Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 8, RU name (Hall of Famer) Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 8 David . James, Los Angeles, CA -- 10 (Hall of Famer) Mark Schmidt, Paris, France -- 11 Pam Pickard, North Canton, OH -- 12 Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 13 Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 14 Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- Honorable Mention list name Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- List Moderator Chris hite, Irvine, CA -- List o ner/editor addy achtel, Queens, Ne York -- Ambience -> Ambience explanation: http://www.topfive.com/arcs/am020601.htm ------------------------------------------------------------------ "VVetoed" and "hatever" The Runners Up and Honorable Mention submissions The Runners Up and Honorable Mention submissions for today's list can be found on our website: http://www.topfive.com ================================================================== [ T H E T O P F I V E L I S T ] [ TOP5 -- The Home of Original Humor http://www.topfive.com ] [----------------------------------------------------------------] The Top 5 List (original lists) [EMAIL PROTECTED] Top5 Classic (greatest hits) [EMAIL PROTECTED] Ruminations (odd thoughts) [EMAIL PROTECTED] The Daily Probe (news satire) [EMAIL PROTECTED] The Whack Report (real stories) [EMAIL PROTECTED] The Kid Report (kid stories) [EMAIL PROTECTED] Gadget Geek (cool stuff) [EMAIL PROTECTED] ================================================================== [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use in any manner ] [ without crediting "The Top 5 List at www.topfive.com" ] ================================================================== [ To unsubscribe: Send mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] ] [ To bitch at the owner: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ] [ http://www.topfive.com ] ================================================================== ============================================================ GET A NEXTCARD VISA, in 30 seconds! 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