I am Absent Tong, a failed air archaeologist and stunt pilot for the Avocado Cheese Company. My life finally came to have meaning when I discovered an affinity with intelligent mosskins, a symbiotic life form from the planet Tramafaldore. In order to appear normal I write poetry and talk to children in a meaningful but jolly way, occasionally throwing in jokes for their parents and teachers. However, the mosskins are coming for me on Thursday and I might be gone for some time.
149 to go
