fittyfittyfittydollAH!who'llgimme fittyfittyfity--FIVE!
heck all this auctioneering is inspiring me--i think at the little saturday market on the small area of well trodden grass on corner of wells and wisconsin i will set up a table and start auctioning off my wares--
paintings and rubbings--collages--found totemic objects of immense power in the eye of the beholder of the spirit--who''ll gimme fifttyfittyfittycent?--
the curious gather--knowing our neighborhood--a woman offers a quickie behind the dumpsters--another man offers a rock ($10.00 bag of crack cocaine)--and yet another asks if i wd take a microwave? a hair net? a tv? a radio? a walkman?--some silver ware? how about a nice edition of the bible?--a three piece jump suit?--some gold chains?--a watch?--some grass?--some chivas regal still in the box?--a carton of newports?--a handtooled wallet? a beeper?--a packet of syringes?--
"name it and claim it--how the Lord doth provide!"--
i can see it now--people hurrying home to hang up my ravings--install the totems beside the vcr--atop the home entertainment center--decorate the refrigerator--wrap cold chicken in--use for wall paper--put in the parrot cage--try to resell elsewhere where aritsts congregate--side walk sales--church basements--use to patch holes in car windows--place on dashboards--use for ash trays, candle holders--dead ant vaults--shrines for old bottle caps--holders of stickums--playthings for the dog--
actually the best auctions i ever saw were those of the Grey Brothers in Vermont--of great local reknown--people came from all over to enjoy the mighty thrills and surprises of their showmanship and commerical enterprise in action--
the asistants wheeling out on stage two tires--"now what you see heah is real special--see--real special--looks like just a pa-ah tires--but see--it's real special--one's the same and t'othahs di'frent"
of course this unique "pair" of tires sold off to an enthusiastic crowd, roaring on the bidders--
another time, to raise money for all the dead to be buried at a fire in a fmaily home--and for the legal and medical costs of the lone survivor--everything was to be aucntioned off, everything! to help these poor victims of an act of God--ir not of an arsonist! -- (later it did becme clear had been work of an arsonsit who had thought no one home--)--
(or--maybe not--it never was clear--)
at one point the Greys were being overwhelmed with emotion--choked up and shedding some tears--the assisants brought out a table--"the last meal these poor people ever et"--one of the items was a third of a box of corn flakes--urged on by pity, by the teray eyed Greys' implorings and heaven-directed eye rollings (and hoping to pay of the bills and for the funerals, to be sure--) many a hand after hand was raised--and the cornflakes sold to high accliam--for ten times their shelf cost!
i wonder if someday virtual auctions wil have soundtracks and virtual auctioneers to add to the events?--i am sure the Grey family inheritors of the mighty gavel and gravel voices--would be glad to model for the roles!
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