Not this old chestnut again! Michael
--- suse <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Allan Revich" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: <[email protected]> > Sent: Monday, May 31, 2004 9:26 AM > Subject: Re: FLUXLIST: Woman Smashes Dog - Call > Flour Sentries! > > > > (Please add to the story wherever you see fit, add > your name at the > > front and post it.) > > > > "Man Bites Dog" 42-page book made of fur, teeth, > skin and bones > > > > Kathy Forer, Roger Stevens, Michael Leigh, Alan > fffo, badgergirl, Carol > > Starr, Suse > > > > The Story So Far > > > > Fourteen wolverines and one lap dog chase a > badger. But the badger is > > too fast and burrows beneath a paintbrush stuck in > a stone. In the > > burrow are mushrooms and grain. The badger makes a > broth ambrosia of the > > green grain and mushrooms and is soon asleep. > > > > > > The badger is dreaming that it was just a dream, > there are no wolverines > > or lap dog because the badger was really awakened > by the artist removing > > the paintbrush from the stone to begin painting > for the morning. Little > > does the artist realize that the badger is in the > burrow. Once the > > badger (a strange name for a badger some would > say) is reassured as to > > its safety and breakfast is under way in the > burrow; ambrosia of green > > grain and mushrooms with the added delight of mini > marshmallows! > > > > The day is going well, but what was that > > strange sound? Thunder and a police siren mix with > snoring. The badger > > jumps from his spot thinking the stone has > imploded. When he hears the > > rain on the stone above, he realizes the > electricity is still working, > > washes his face and soon falls back deep asleep. > > > > Hours later, Once, the badger, is awakened by the > noise of wood against > > stone. It is night and the lap dog is yapping. The > wolverines have > > surrounded the stone and are chanting an > incantation. The badger doesn't > > breathe, not a whisker moves. Neither up nor down, > although suspense is > > acrostic. After a paws of several minutes the > badger quickly whips out > > his cross-stitched magic asbestos underpants and > pulls them on > > ferociously. Once flings open the serving hatch > and grabs the vial of > > sacred weasel water and makes a dot for the burrow > entrance and > > confronts the seething mass of writhing wolverines > squirming around the > > stone which is now glowing with a strange > phosphorescent throb! > > > > 1 > > > > It was a dense night. Stumble patterns and brave > yapping set apart the > > party of owl elves and gnome mimics as they writhe > and chase and spurn > > the undergrowth around the latest beige badger > silting. In the brave > > distance behoves the strange and incandescent > foreshadows of wolverines > > and greenish melon lights upon the substantial > forest fare. > > > > Young Zonograph, the tallest owl elf snuffed his > warps harp and muttered > > - I can hear a badger. The badger is in trouble. I > scents wolverines. > > Hurry there is no stone unready ton roll upturned > in this lackadaisical > > pre-momentary of the word fandango. > > > > Meanwhile, or to be more precisereiouseless, high > on hill stood a lonely > > man with a goathead, his fixedinterestrate stare > > directeddyboyhoodlesservilely at the burning black > belching smokestacks > > of the town beyong the wolverine woods. The sound > of a suddenly > > snuffeforadicalcified warps harp, brought memories > back for Ludwig Hat, > > erstwhile butler and badger > baiterribleedinglendervish of Vincent and > > Cara Van Hire. > > > > Ludwig stood immobile, imshelle and intexacoe, for > Ludwig had been > > brained by falling groceries, dropped from almost > a mile overhead and > > one mile and eight inches over shoulder, a result > of the splitting of a > > cheap carrier pigeon on it's way home. Forcing his > gaze downward Ludwig > > was horrified, not only had his part of the story > not managed to settle > > on a definite form, not only did it lack content > but now to his disgust > > he found that he had been > rendereducededicateddyboyfriended by a > > tangerine!!! He couldn't even get that right. > > > > Ludwig crossed his eyes and dotted his teeth, > relaxed and floated up, > > through the roof of his own mouth. Long and > complicated wordadditions, > > he thought, canwearyoudownifyournot careful, and > so he resolved to be > > more carefulinfuture. > > > > Win Cent the Magnificent and Cara, however, were > seriously considering > > calling Sister Meg and entering into the fray. > Sister Meg O'Lomania was > > after all acrostic champion frigidaire and good at > getting badgers up > > and down and out of trees (and wolverines out of > toasters for that > > matter.) Lap dogs she had no time for as their > batteries always seemed > > to run out in the middle of a sent bottle of > enormous palcritude. > > > > His eyes dilated and shuffled in the moonlight, > his breathe came in > > short pants, his coughs in a skirt and his > trousers rolled up like > > Venetian blinds caught in a mighty wurlitzer. > > > > Mrs. Shufflefang caught sight of herself in a > nearby polished knob of a > > Milkman's portable pelmet crusher and she winced > inwardly, tossing back > > a mane of flaxen hair that was tied in a bun and > covered in currants. > > The badgers, for now there were five, all grabbed > the reins of the > > milkman's horse and whipped it into a gallop and > then into a small tea > > shop where it scattered several old ladies and a > troupe of dwarves on an > > outing. > > > > Suddenly, Pequot Marmaduck threw a crumpet at > Sister Meg. It caught her > > with a ping in the frigidaire and she fainted > straight away, smashing > > the paw of the lap dog who was dreaming of heaven > sent chumlaka. Cara > > sprinkled Sister Meg and the lap dog each with > half a gram of lemon > > juice. Meg cried out "get me a toasted pineapple!" > and the dog sniffed > > the crumpet. > > > > Ludwig had fallen onto the milk cart and the > badgers were busy cleaning > > the splashes from each other when seven wolverines > slunk by and whistled > > an old tune from the dark days when weasels were > weasels and fourpence > > was worth three and a half cents. The badgers had > been mistaken for > > minks! Finally, they could answer Young > Zonograph's call and they set > > out toward the southern phosphorescence, towing > Mrs. Shufflegang who had > > the fixedinterestrate card for gas and carrots for > the hybrid horse and > > roasted beast for themselves. > > > > 2 > > > > "What's all this, then!" Uncle Walt awoke with a > tart. "Once?" he > > yelled. "Where is that pesky badger?" Carefully > smearing the remains of > === message truncated === It's another blog! http://flobberlob.blogspot.com/ ___________________________________________________________ Yahoo! Messenger - NEW crystal clear PC to PC calling worldwide with voicemail http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com
