Stage: Empty except for a large photograph of a grin on the center of the stage.
Players: Androgynous blob (player covered entirely with a large cloth or flashy bedsheet. What else is needed: Orange cloth, electric fan, hammer, flowers, dated pop music records played manually with a finger. Scene I: Blob comes in and tries to carry on a conversation with the photograph. Everything it says is muttered inscrutibly except for the phrase "express your confusion", which is uttered from time to time. The scene ends when any member of the audience expresses their confusion. If this doesn't happen within five minutes, end the scene anyway. The blob will stamp offstage angrily if it has to resort to the latter. If the former happens, the blob will throw flowers into the audience and dance offstage. Music. Scene II: Electric fan that is pointed towards the performance space is turned on offstage. Blob comes on stage with a microphone, stands still for a moment and recites the following solioquy into it - "When I was a child, then I loved the sound of the fan. I went through at least three white electric fans back then, which I set up in my room and pointed towards my bed. Even in the wintertime, I would play that fan low all night every night and fall asleep listening to the sound of the fan. What sort of sounds do you find pleasing?" The blob hold the microphone to the audience. If the audience responds to its question, it'll wait before moving on to listen to the responses. Then, the blob will walk to the offstage fan and place the microphone in front of it. It then walks to the other side of the stage and off. After a few moments, a small orange cloth is placed in front of the fan and is blown onstage. Lights turn off, music. Scene III: Lights are turned on again, but dimmed. The blob walks onstage with a hammer. The blob turns to the photograph of a grin and proceeds to hammer away at random teeth. After about three or four teeth are torn out, the blob takes the photograph and walks offstage. Lights turn off. - A Chair, August 2004
