Iki crito soal pengalamane Mat Pithi waktu budal nang Jerman numpak pesawat.. Sekali sekali rek ndelok piala dunia secara langsung .. bosen ndelok Liga Indonesia tok soale nek sing main Persebaya pasti akeh tawurane timbang bal-balane. Oh iyo, kabeh pembicaraan nang cerito iki asline nggae bahasa Inggris, cumak wis diterjemahno ambek penulis nang boso Suroboyoan cek sampeyan2 ngerti kabeh.
Critane Mat Pithi milih numpak Singapore Airlines. Soale masio tikete rodok larang tapi krungu2ne pelayanane SQ iku jare sing terbaik sak dunia, pesawate generasi anyar kabeh, fasilitase canggih, panganane yo enak, trus sing penting pramugarine ayu2 dukur2 (maksute rok'e sing dukur). Tiba'e bener .. perjalanan mulai teko Juanda sampek meh tekan Jerman gak tau sepi teko panganan. Begitu juga ngombe. Pokok'e nek ketok gelase penumpang isine kari sitik ambek pramugari langsung ditawari nambah utowo ganti pesen liyane. Mat Pithi wetenge sampek kuwarek'en gara2 terus terusan mangan ngombe. Mari mangan steak unto, ngombe jus strawberry. Trus nambah kopi susu, pesen burger salmon ambek wedang jahe, nambah tuak, es tebu akhire pesen kupang es degan.. Iku ae dhe'e jik pingin pesen lorjuk rambak katak digae camilan, saking gak onok. Jare pramugarine ngene "Nek pesen panganan sing iku nango Kenjeran ae Cak, ojo ndik kene".. Gendeng pancen Mat Pithi .... pesawat dianggep koyok warung ae. Akibate yo wis mesti, durung sampek tekan Jerman Mat Pithi wis kebelet... Mat Pithi langsung mlayu nang toilet. Ndilalah pas tekan kono, toilet lanange onok uwonge. Mat Pithi bingung, raine mulai pucet karena ngempet, kringete mulai metu sak jagung jagung. Pramugarine mesakno ndelok Mat Pithi koyok ngono akhire ngomong ngene "Yo wis Cak, sampeyan nggaweo toilet cewek ae. Tapi ojok sampek mijet tombol2 sing onok ndik njero yo. Pokok'e nek wis mari ngising ndang siramen trus metuo". Pramugarine terpaksa ngijinno Mat Pithi mlebu toilet cewek. Pikire ngene "Timbang wong iku kebobolan nang karpet, engko yo aku dewe sing repot ngepel" Mat Pithi nang njero toilet cewek. Lego wis .. mari ngising nguyuh. Lha nang kono dhe'e pancen ndelok akeh tombol2 sing onok tulisane WW , WA , PP ATR. Dasare arek Suroboyo, Mat Pithi tambah penasaran tombol2 iku digae opo ae, trus opo'o dhe'e kok dilarang mijet tombol2 iku ambek pramugarine. Ilmu kebone mulai metu. Kebo iku nek disurung sungune lak malah nyurung ta.. Podho ambek Mat Pithi, nek dilarang malah koyok dikongkon. Mat Pithi mulai ati2 nyoba mijet tombol WW...... langsung srooooootttt. metu banyu anget nyemprot silite. "Oh, tiba'e iki artine Warm Water digae cewok . wah, enak'e rek toilet cewek" batine Mat Pithi. Mat Pithi tambah penasaran .. dhe'e nyoba mijet tombol liyane. Mat Pithi mijet tombol WA . whuuuussss ...langsung metu udara anget digae pengering.. "Mmm.. tiba'e WA iki artine Warm Air. Mangkane wong wedok cik betahe suwi nang njero toilet, lha wong fasilitase koyok ngene" Terus Mat Pithi mijet tombol PP. Langsung metu bantalane wedak (Powder Puff) medak'i silite sing wis garing. Mat Pithi tambah kagum campur nggumun, tapi yo kudu ngguyu ... "Hahahaha... . taek .. taek, lek nang Suroboyo umume sing diwedak'i iku lak rai ta. Kok nang kene silit barang diwedak'i" Mat Pithi sing tambah penasaran akhire gak ragu ragu maneh mijet tombol ATR .... Grobyaaakkk. .. Mat Pithi tibo jempalitan teko toilet, awak'e glocoran getih .....Mat Pithi semaput, dunia koyok dadi peteng.. Pas sadar Mat Pithi wis turu nang kasure rumah sakit, onok selang infus mancep nang tangan tangane, nang sebelahe onok alat monitoring detak jantung. Mat Pithi bingung puoll . Dhe'e takon nang perawat sing jogo "Sus, yok opo critane kok aku iso sampek diopname nang rumah sakit, padahal maune kan nang njero toilet pesawat". Perawat iku mau terus nerangno . "Ngene Cak.. nurut hasil investigasine kru pesawat, waktu iku sampeyan mlebu toilet cewek, trus mijet tombol ATR. Padahal tombol iku artine kan Automatic Tampon Removal, fungsine digawe nyopot tampon secara otomatis. Sampeyan ngerti gak .. tampon iku lak pembalut wanita sing bentuk'e batangan, trus dilebokno nang "anune" cewek. Akibate lek sing nggawe wong lanang yo ngene iki, manuk sampeyan ketarik alat iku sampek brodol sak jembut-jembute !!!". "@#%#%*...@# , duobol, kirik, juamput, taek, asu" Mat Pithi misuh misuh gak karuan nang njero ati. "Trus yok opo iki Sus" saking bingunge Mat Pithi sampek gak eruh opo sing arep ditakokno. "Sampeyan gak usah kuatir Cak, kabeh biaya pengobatan ditanggung SQ ditambah sampeyan oleh tiket gratis gae balik nang Suroboyo" "Lha trus manukku ?" "Tenang ae .. RS nang Jerman iki canggih2. Manuk sampeyan wis disambung maneh dan jare tim dokter iso berfungsi normal koyok biyen" "Hah, koyok biyen maneh??? lak cilik rek !!!!. Jancuuuuuuuuuukkk. . ngerti ngono aku njaluk disambung ambek manuk'e jaran mumpung gratis" khusus sing iki Mat Pithi ngomonge nggae boso suroboyoan. "What did you say ???" jare sustere. Oooalahh Mat .. Mat, nasibmu pancen apes. Tiwas adoh2 budhal nang Jerman, entek duwit akeh, tiba'e tekan kono mlebu rumah sakit. Akhire Mat Pithi mek iso ndelok bal-balan nang TVne rumah sakit. 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