Victoria/Tory -
Thanks for the annotated autobiographical note. It gives me hope that
parents *can* and *do* offer their children something more meaningful
and grounded than what I see too often through my cynical eye. It is
easy to be too cynical and I understand the human desire (as with your
father's wistfulness) to enjoy things by proxy they might not have
enjoyed themselves as children, or nostalgically *since* they were children.
I admit that while the resulting multi-axis-lathed and hand-laquered
pinewood derby racers looked like parents competing with eachother, not
7 and 8 year old cub scouts mumbling "vroom vroom" as they glued the
axles onto precut, barely shaped, blocks of wood and enjoying the
visceral thrill of transferring their little egos into even littler
vehicles to act out "mouse-and-motorcycle" fantasies, that even those
kids whose parents (let's face it, almost exclusively fathers) wrested
the kit away from the kid before she even got to open it (mumbling
"vroom vroom") got to learn something and enjoy a process, even if
almost entirely by proxy. (yes, that was a single
run-on-sentence-cum-paragraph!)
>> (/and this discussion has become very Friamish, so I am redirecting
it away from the SFX site)/
Yes, SFX_Discuss on this topic did take on the flavor of an overly
critical, snarky (and thanks to me, annotated autobiography)... probably
because it was primarily FRIAM players chiming in.
I want to add
My papa did not have an icy hand. When he helped me build science fair
projects his hands were capable and warm, if a bit eager.
Good antidote to my cynical judgement about "overly" involved parents.
He encouraged me all along, and always made me feel that he delighted
in my mind and curiosities, whatever my age. When we made things
together, I felt wistfulness from him, that his choice of career moved
him away from research into management.
His faith in my mind, and support for my questions, meant I never felt
that since I was a girl, I'd be unable to do things.
I just assumed I'd find or invent a way. That was his most valuable
legacy.
Steve, your narrative brought back lovely memories.
Thanks again for the warm and uplifting anecdote. I hope the parents of
young children on these lists are listening.... more to your warm and
encouraging note than my cynical negativity.... by all means, jump in
and help your kids, just notice where the line between help and
hindrance, encouragement and enabling lies!
- Steve
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