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F R I E N D S H I P
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Original Sender : "M Fahmi Aulia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
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Weekend, ketawa aja, dech...
Tapi jangan lebar2 buka mulutnya....terutama buat yg puasa...bau,
tau...hehehe...B^P *sorry, becanda...*
Buat yg shaum, selamat menunaikan shaum, yach??
*** Jokes begin ***
source: sorry, lupa...
Beda antara Bujangan dan Sudah Nikah
Kenapa pria yang sudah menikah biasanya berat badannya bertambah sedangkan
bujangan tidak ?
Karena, bujangan biasanya pergi ke lemari makanan, apabila yang diinginkan
tidak ada, maka mereka tidur.
Pria sudah nikah biasanya pergi ke tempat tidur, apabila yang diinginkan
tidak ada, maka mereka pergi ke lemari makanan.
***
source: Hutch
Di dunia ini kepribadian cewek terbagi dalam tiga jenis
1. cewe tipe wanita
keibuan, pengen dimanja dan dibelai, gampang terharu, suka
menangis.
2. cewe tipe cewe
ceria, gemar tertawa, bisa membedakan daffy duck dengan
donald duck, aktif dan mandiri.
3. cewe tipe cowo
maskulin, gemar memukul dan menendang, betis sepakbola,
memelihara kumis. (..??)
yang nomor satu sudah pasti doyan telenovela ato pelem yang menguras
air mata dan doyan ngurus orang
yang nomor dua sudah pasti doyan pelem yang lucu-lucu ato kartun dan
lebih doyan ngurus diri sendiri (sebodo teuing dengan orang)
yang nomor tiga sudah pasti doyan pelem eksyen yang rada horror dan
sangat doyan membuat orang mengurus dirinya (rada preman..hiyy)
buat cewe : yang manakah kepribadian anda..??
buat cowo : yang manakah kepribadian yang anda sukai..??
***
source: Daulat
[X]
Alkisah sebuah cerita rakyat, Seorang pemuda yang kita sebut "Joko Bodo"
hidup bersama Mpok Bodo seorang janda miskin, dia mempunyai seekor Kerbau
betina yang sudah dewasa yang setiap hari di Gembala dekat serumpun bambu di
tepi sungai yang airnya bening dengan ketinggian air hanya sebatas lutut.
Pada suatu siang hari ketika Joko Bodo mengembala Kerbau, sambil menikmati
pemandangan sekitar sungai yang sangat sepi, air begitu tenang, angin
sepoi-sepoi.
Joko Bodo sambil tiduran diatas punggung kerbaunya sambil mendengarkan suara
bambu yang saling bergesekan.
Tiba-tiba dari kejauhan Joko Bodo melihat orang-orang desa tersebut sambil
membawa parang datang ketempatnya, dan langsung menyeberang sungai menuju
tempat Joko Bodo, tangan kiri pegangan sarung yang kanan diangkat keatas
sambil bawa parang (seolah-olah sambil mengangkat parangnya).
Wahh....ada apa ini, pikir Joko Bodo.... apa mereka tahu apa yang telah saya
perbuat tadi..... wah mati aku...
Begitu orang-orang desa tersebut mendekat, langsung saja turun dari kerbau
dan sambil menghiba dan memohon kepada orang-orang itu.
Joko Bodo : Ampuun...ampunn....Ya biarin saja ...ini kan kerbau-kerbau
saya sendiri.... ini kan kerbau-kerbauku saya .............. ya
biarin....ini kan kerbau saya sendiri
Orang2 Desa : ....................... (bertanya-tanya, ech kenapa ini si
Joko Bodo...saya kesini mau cari bambu...)
Joko Bodo : Ya.....Biarin, ini kan kerbauku sendiri.............(sambil
memohon...........)
Orang2 Desa : .....ech.... ada apa Joko Bodo........(sambil bertanya juga
dalam hati.... ada apa ini)
Joko Bodo : Yaaaaa.....Biiiiarrrriiin...!!!!!!, iiiiinnnnii kaan kerbauku
sendiri (tambah berteriak-teriak.....)
Orang2 Desa : Oke...oke kalau itu kerbaumu sendiri terus ada
apa............??????
Joko Bodo : Itu...(sambil menunjuk Kerbaunya..) ya ..siapa tahu kerbau
saya nanti bisa hamil.....
Orang2 Desa : Jadi kamu telah melakukan sama kerbau kamu........??????
Joko Bodo : Yaa...biarin, ini kan kerbau saya sendiri.....
Orang2 Desa : saya kesini, ini mau cari bambu......
Joko Bodo : Ooohhhh........ (aduh ketahuan............dalam hatinya)
***
source: Daily Jokes
The teacher wrote "Like I ain't had no fun in months"
on the board and then she said, "Johnny, how should
I correct that?"
Johnny replied, "Maybe get a new boyfriend?"
===
THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY
* FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!
* And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the
body of the ape.
* Don't worry. I think it's sharp enough.
* Uh-oh.
* I don't know where that came from! Just put it over there.
* Better crank up that anesthesia.
* I don't think that was supposed to come off.
* Gonna have to stop here, his insurance won't pay for the
rest.
* Well, it's five o'clock! We'll just put this off till
tomorrow.
* Hey....maybe the janitor knows what this is.
***
source: Cybercheeze
Hank was a not too smart kind of guy. Everyday when he walked home from
work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up
and steal his money.
Finally, Hank decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a
different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn't
happen again. He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well to
defend himself.
So, one day, on the way home from work Hank took his old route home and
sure enough there they were. He walked up to them and the battle ensued.
The next afternoon Hank went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken
nose and a busted lip.
His instructor, shocked, asked him what happened.
"Well," explained Hank, "I took my old way home last night so I could beat
these guys up who were stealing my money, but they beat me up before I
could get my shoes and socks off!"
***
source: Rohmah
HOW MEN AND WOMEN DIFFER - 5
SOCKS
-----
Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white socks.
Women wear strange socks. Socks that are cut way below the ankles, that
have pictures of clouds on them, that have a big fuzzy ball on the back.
EATING OUT
----------
and when the check comes, Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20
bills, eventhough it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything
smaller, and none admit they want change back.
When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators!!
MIRRORS
-------
Men are vain, they will always check themselves out in the mirror.
Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny
surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, Ronaldo's head.
THE TELEPHONE
-------------
Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to
send short messages to other people.
A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home she
will call the same friend and they will talk for 3 hours.
ADMITTING MISTAKES
------------------
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted he
was wrong was General George Custer.
***
source: Ianto
1) CIAWI = CIuman manusiAWI (asal nempel kali yaaaaaa?)
2) CISARUA = CIum "SARUng" guA (sarung apaan tuh....?)
3) CIBULAN = CIumannya BUtuh LANjutan (pilem seri kali????)
4) CIPANAS = CIuman PAling gaNAS (seganas apa yooooooo?)
5) CIANJUR = CIum ANak JURik (paling dipungut mantu ama setan!)
6) CISADANE = CIuman SAyang DAri aNE (mau ngga ente..?)
7) CITARIK = CIuman TArik menaRIK (ati-ati nanti ada yang copot!)
8) CIPAYUNG = CIum PAntat gaYUNG
9) CIAMPELAS = CIuman AMpe PErut muLAS (kembung ama air ludah!)
10) CIMANGGIS = CIuMan gAya liNGGIS ( standing style)
11) CIBUBUR = CIuman BUru-BURu ( ada nyokap bokap)
12) CISALAK = CIuman SAya gaLAK (soalnya yang nyium anjing gue)
13) CIAMIS = CIuman bAu aMIS ( makanye sikat gigi dulu dong!)
14) CIKINI = CIuman laKI biNI ( kalo yang ini sah-sah aje!)
15) CILIWUNG = CIuman LIWat gunUNG ( hayo gunung ape....)
16) CIPETE = CIuman PEnuh TEka-teki (mao nyium dikasih tebakan dulu)
17) CIBITUNG = CIuman BIkin unTUNG (emang jualan...?)
18) CIKARANG = CIum KAwasan terlaRANGsang (nyang mana yaaa?)
19) CIKUPA = CIumanny KUrang PAs (posisinya atau.....)
20) CILINCING = CIuman LIdah ruNCING (lidah apa piso? bedarah dong!)
21) CILEDUK = CIuman bersuara meLEDUK!!!! (kayak BOM di BEJ)
22) CIMANDE = CIuman Mantap si DEde (nggak tau deh siapa si Dede-nya)
*** End of Jokes ***
atjong
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