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Original Sender  : "M Fahmi Aulia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
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Sorry, lama gak muncul...B^P

***Jokes begin ***

source: Val

Disebuah bar seorang pemuda berbadan kecil sedang duduk santai. Seorang
preman lokal mendekati dan langsung menendangnya keras, "Ciaaaaaaat!" pemuda
kecil itu jatuh tersungkur dari bangkunya. Ketika dia bangun, si preman
berkata dengan sombong, "itu tadi TAEKWONDO dari KOREA."

Karena takut, pemuda itu tak menanggapi. Dia lalu kembali duduk ke
bangkunya. Namun tak lama kemudian, preman tadi kembali mendekati dan
membantingnya, "Gubrakkkkkk!" pemuda kecil itu terjerambab. Saat dia bangun,
preman berkata lagi, "itu tadi JUDO dari JEPANG ". Pemuda kecil itu tetap
tidak menanggapi. Perlahan dia kembali duduk.

Tidak lama kemudian, preman menonjoknya, "Bugggggg!" pemuda kecil kembali
jatuh, lalu si preman berkata, "Itu tadi BOXING dari AMERIKA." Pemuda itu
menyadari mulutnya mengeluarkan darah. Lalu dia bangun dan tidak kembali ke
bangkunya. Perlahan2 dia keluar dari bar.

Tidak beberapa lama kemudian pemuda kecil itu masuk ke bar dan menghampiri
si preman.Tanpa berkata apa-apa lagi dia langsung memukul si preman,
"Bletokkkk!." Si preman langsung jatuh pingsan.

Pemuda kecil ingin memberi penjelasan, tapi si preman tidak juga siuman.
Pemuda kecil itu menghampiri pemilik bar dan berkata, "Pak, bila preman ini
bangun tolong beritahu bahwa yang tadi itu adalah LINGGIS dari GUDANG"

***

source: Daily Jokes

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy said, "Well, son, it was 1932.  The depth of
the Great Depression.  I was down to my last nickel."

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day
polishing the apple, and at the end of the day I sold the
apple for 10 cents."

"The next morning, I invested that 10 cents in two apples.
I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at
5:00 p.m. for 20 cents.  I continued this system for a
month, by the end of which I'd accumulated the vast
sum of $1.37."

"Then my wife's father died and left us two million
dollars."

***

source: Cybercheeze

Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.  At
the head of the table was large pile of apples. The nun made a note that
said, "Take only one, God is watching."

Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of
chocolate chip cookies.  A little boy wrote a note, "Take all you want, God
is watching the apples!"

***

source: Murni

Pemerintah menolak merger 4 bank swasta: Bank Panin, Bank
Tata, Bank Bukopin dan Bank Mega, karena kalau digabung nanti namanya jadi
Bank Pan-Tat-Bu-Mega.

***

source: HGautama
[X]

What do you say after having sex with your love?
- darling you're so great!> WRONG answer!
- oh honey, you fabulous> WRONG answer!
- i love you  sunshine> this is paethetic!!!

corect ANSWER:
  "BURUAN GIH CUCI SANA, ENTAR JADI BENERAN LHO"!

===

A chinnesse couple had a newborn baby.
They saw a baby has a black skin, curly hair
and big rounded eyes.
So they give a baby name:

  SAM TING WONG.

***

source: Lucky
[X]

1. Oral sex does not mean talking to each other
2. A condom is not needed for wen you are doing it alone
3. Herpes is not the name of a Greek god.
4. On the same note, oral contraception goes beyond just saying 'NO'
5. For it not to be a crime, mutual consent is necessary
6. No woman would ever be desperate enough to sleep with you at first sight.
If this happens be sure you pay her, otherwise you will suffer major
physical pain
7. Abstinence is not a kinky position
8. Don't tell potential girlfriends that you have a severe Oedipus complex
9. A bad line to use is, "They took 80% off during my circumcision"
10. Speed is not a virtue.

***

source: Hutch

Seorang wanita pergi ke toko hewan dan melihat seekor betet besar yang
indah. Terpampang harganya yang hanya Rp 50 ribu. "Kok murah?" tanya wanita
itu pada pemilik toko.  Si pemilik menjawab,"Begini, pertama-tama saya harus
ceritakan dulu bahwa  betet ini dahulu dipelihara di rumah bordil, jadi
kadang-kadang dia  ngomong kata-kata yang lumayan jorok".

 Si wanita berpikir sejenak, tapi tetap memutuskan untuk membeli burung
yang indah itu. Ia membawanya pulang dan menaruhnya di sangkar, lalu
menggantung sangkar itu di ruang tamu dan menunggu burung itu bicara.
Burung itu melihat ke sekeliling ruangan, lalu melihat si wanita, dan
berkata, "Rrumah barru, gerrmo barru".

Wanita itu merasa kaget, tapi lalu menganggapnya lucu, "Tidak apalah",
pikirnya.

Saat dua anak gadisnya pulang dari sekolah, burung itu melihat mereka dan
berkata, Rrumah barru, gerrmo barru, perrek barru." Gadis-gadis dan wanita
itu merasa sedikit tersinggung tapi akhirnya bisa mentertawakan situasi itu.

Beberapa saat kemudian Benny, suami sang wanita, pulang dari kantor. Burung
itu melihatnya dan berkata, "Halo Benny!"

***

source: Endang

Setelah 4 hari di Palembang saya dapat info bahwa ada banyak yg aneh di
Palembang ini khususnya dalam memberikan nama tempat contohnya :
1. Ada nama pulau yg karena bentuknya diberi nama Pulau Klentit.
2. Ada pasar bernama Pasar Kentut (nama lain dari pasar 16) yang karena
penjualnya sering kentut.
3. Ada pasa bernama Pasar Busuk  yg juga karena baunya.

***

source: Achmad

A programmer is someone who solves a problem you did'nt know you had in a
way you don't understand.

An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the
wounded.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and
wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted
yesterday did not happen today.

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality
to be an accountant.

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that
decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that
is not there.

A topologist is a man who does not know the difference between a coffee cup
and a doughnut.

A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a
"brief."

A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl
enters the room.

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the
time.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to Antarctica in such a way
that you will look forward to the trip.

***

source: Willy

Apakah Globalisasi itu??

Seorang putri bangsawan INGGRIS bersama pacarnya yg berkebangsaan MESIR
mengalami kecelakaan di sebuah terowongan di PERANCIS. Mobilnya yang buatan
JERMAN dengan mesin BELANDA menabrak tembok di terowongan tsb. Mobil tsb
di-sopir-i oleh pemuda berkebangsaan BELGIA yang lulus SMU di SCOTLANDIA.
Mereka sedang menghindari kejaran papparazi ITALIA yang mengendarai motor
buatan JEPANG. Mobil mereka hancur termasuk HP canggih mereka yg keluaran
SWEDIA. Seorang dokter dari AMERIKA berusaha menolong  dibantu oleh
staf-staf medik dari FILIPINA dengan menggunakan obat2an dari BRAZIL, namun
sayang...tidak berhasil !! ....dan beberapa orang I N D O N E S I A
sempat-sempatnya melihat email ini...., dasar ngga ada kerjaan !!

*** End of Jokes ***

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