Subject: Lutheran Air is now operating from Duluth Airport

WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIR IS NOW OPERATING FROM DULUTH AIRPORT
 
YA... SHURE, YA BETCHA! DIS IS DA LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN MINNYSOTA. 
ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA.
 
If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da no-frills airline. 
You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is a upliftin experience. 
Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.
 
Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main 
dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da 
aircraft.
 
Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by free will 
offering and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.
 
Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da safety 
system aboard dis Lutran Air 599.
 
Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden loss 
of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill Captain 
Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure 
would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't 
bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes.
 
You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up 
in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, 
to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, 
sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.
 
In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's 
Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive 
doze who sin against us, which some people say "trespass against us," which 
isn't right, but what can you do?
 
Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day may 
confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants all da way. No, 
it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you to use a 
cell phone, He would have put your mout on da side of your head.
 
We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee pot up 
front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of 
you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I 
am not kiddin!
 
Right now I'll say Grace. "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to 
us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty 
close. Amen




Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
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My Blog Spot:  http://cardiffstorylady.blogspot.com/


 
 

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