Funny Jokes - Diet Humor

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue... and 
then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue 
go? -Rita Rudner

Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.

It's something most of us do religiously: We eat what we want and 
pray we don't gain weight.

The problem with curbing our appetites is that most of us do it at 
the drive in window of McDonalds.

The most fattening thing you can put in an ice cream sundae is a 
spoon.

Above all, dieters are advised to avoid Pepsi, the pause that 
refleshes.

Sweets are the destiny that shapes our ends.

Diets are for women who not only kept their girlish figure but 
doubled it.

A diet is when you have to go to some length to change your width.

It's not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it's the
seconds.

The best way to lose weight is by skipping snacks and desert.

Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two alone.

A diet is the modern-day meal in which a family counts its calories 
instead of its blessings.

For some a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.



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