Funny Jokes - Government Quotes and Funny Jokes


1) Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of 
Congress. 

But then I repeat myself.

 ......... Mark Twain

 

2) I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity 
is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by 
the handle.

 ...... Winston Churchill

 

3) A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on 
the support of Paul.

 .......... George Bernard Shaw

 

4) A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, 
which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

 ......... G. Gordon Liddy

 

5) Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep 
voting on what to have for dinner.

 ......... James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

 

6) Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor 
people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. 

.... Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown 
University

 

7) Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and 
car keys to teenage boys.

 ............ P. J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

 

8) Government is the great fiction, through which everybody 
endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.

 ....... Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

 

9) Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few 
short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. 
And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

 ....... Ronald Reagan (1986)

 

10) I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the 
facts. 

.......... Will Rogers

 

11) If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see 
what it costs when it's free. ....... P. J. O'Rourke

 

12) In general, the art of government consists of taking as much 
money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the 
other.

 ...... Voltaire (1764)

 

13) Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't 
mean politics won't take an interest in you.

 ....... Pericles (430 B. C.)

 

14) No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the 
legislature is in session.

 ... Mark Twain (1866)

 

15) Talk is cheap ... except when Congress does it.

 ... Unknown

 

16) The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy 
appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.

 ...... Ronald Reagan

 

17) The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the 
blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing 
of misery. 

.... Winston Churchill

 

18) The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that 
the taxidermist leaves the skin. 

... Mark Twain

 

19) The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly 
is to fill the world with fools.

..... Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

 

20) There is no distinctly native American criminal class... save 
Congress.

... Mark Twain

 

21) What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.

..... Edward Langley, Artist (1928


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