This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only
friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every
morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make
her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was
making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly
natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would
blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving
morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound
asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck,
gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and,
gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of
his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later, she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as
he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About
twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were
right." All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and
today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these
two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
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