Funny Jokes - Golf Jokes Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. - Grantland Rice
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. - Horace G. Hutchinson Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one. - Unknown It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. - Harry Vardon Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. - Jimmy DeMaret May thy ball lie in green pastures - and not in still waters. - Unknown The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. - George Deukmejian Golf appeals to the idiot and the child in us. Just how childlike golfers become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. - John Updike It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. - Gardner Dickinson If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. - Sam Snead Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. - William Wordsworth If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. - Tommy Bolt I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes - they'd come up sliced. - Unknown My handicap? Woods and irons. - Chris Codiroli The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flagstick on top. - Pete Dye I'm hitting the woods just great - but having a terrible time getting out of them! - Unknown The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. - Unknown Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. - Unknown ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> See what's inside the new Yahoo! Groups email. http://us.click.yahoo.com/3EuRwD/bOaOAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funny-jokes/ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funnyquotes/ http://www.jokes-joke.com/ http://funny-jokes.blogspot.com/ http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/maillist.html http://www.quotescentral.com/ Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funny-jokes/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
