These are supposedly real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school
district (actual spelling was left intact.)
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute
him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick
and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on
jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is
administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken
out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing
football. He was hurt in the growi part.
8. Megan could not come to school today
because she
has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in
his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school.
He has very
loose vowels.
11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday.
He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the squirts. [note:
words in ( )'s were crossed out]
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday.
He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he
missed his
bust
14. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas
shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
15. Please excuse jennifer for missing school
yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the
porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was
sunday.
16. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We
have to attend her funeral.
17. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was
tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
18. Please excuse jason for being absent yesterday.
He had a cold and could not breed well.
19. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday.
She was in bed with gramps.
20. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a
gangover.
21. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under
the doctor.
22. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's
fault.
Now we know why some parents are screaming for better
education for our kids. I guess they're actually
saying, "Please don't let them grow up like this!"
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