[1] I was thinking about how the status symbols of today is those cell
phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my
garage door opener.
[2] You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people
didn't like me anyway.
[3] I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on
beer cans!
[4] I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have
something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
[5] I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping
Rust"
[6] I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease....that's when your chest
is falling into your drawers!
[7] You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have
you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"
[8] I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons
and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
[9] Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case
of an emergency. I think you should write . . . A Good Doctor!. No one else willcome he may come for money.
[10] Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they
delivered the mail?
[11] I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for
their finals.
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