Funny Jokes - A Little Church Humor
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an
old family Bible to her brother in another part of
the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?"
asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
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"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of
people in the world. There are those who wake up in
the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there
are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good
Lord, it's morning."
*******************************************
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a
large city because he was short of time and couldn't
find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under
the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the
block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my
appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police
officer along with this note "I've circled this
block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket
I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
**************************************
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday
and announced to his congregation: "I have good news
and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money
to pay for our new building program. The bad news
is, it's still out there in your pockets."
**********************************************
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to
an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage
obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to
the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign...
"Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.
Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
***********************************************
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a
question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about
God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!"
said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you
know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "
************************************************
A minister waited in line to have his car fil led
with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The
attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars
ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him
toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young
man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if
everyone waits until the last minute to get ready
for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know
what you mean. It's the same in my business."
**********************************************
People want the front of the bus, the back of the
church, and the center of attention.
********************************************
A father was approached by his small son who told
him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His
father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you
'know' what the Bible means?" The son replied, "I do
know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy." the young boy replied
excitedly, "It stands for
'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'"
**********************************************
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young
daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter
answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the
day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked
him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was
about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is
coming."
********************************************
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk!
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