"Words" was written by Gary Roma from Iron Frog Productions ([EMAIL PROTECTED], http://www.ironfrog.com/ ). This story will be included in Gary's upcoming book of puns entitled, "Indelible Inklings." Please do not distribute this copyrighted story without attribution. Thank you.
--- In [email protected], Chatty <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Words are but lucky letters. > > How do letters get lucky? > > They go to bars. Let's have a look. > > A consonant approaches the bar and sits down next to a vowel. > > "Hi!," he says, "Have you ever been here before?" > > "Of cursive," she replies, "I come here, like, all the time" > > He can tell from her accent (which is kind acute) that she is a > Vowelly Girl. > > He looks her over. She's short and has a nice assonance. > > She sure is a cipher sore i's, thinks this consonantal dude, I'll > bet she gives good letterhead. > > He remains stationery, enveloped by her charm. > > "And what an uppercase! " > > His initial reaction is so pronounced, he doesn't know what to say. > > He is, at present, tense. > > "You've a lovely set of ... teeth," he sputters. > > "Do you crush with bre-ast...er, I mean ... do you brush with Crest?" > > "Oh my God, gag me with a spoonerism! Your mind is in the guttural, > fer sure." > > Admiring her figure of speech, he falls into a fantasy. > > He pictures a perfect wedding: > > They exchange wedding vowels. > > The minister says, "I now pronouns you man and wife." > > They kiss each other on the ellipsis. > > "I love you, noun forever," he whispers. > > The conjugation is in tiers. (In a word, they are wed.) > > He awakens from his daydream and proposes a dance, but she > declines. > > "Then would you like a beer? Alcohol the bartender. ...' > > "I bitter not", she says, falling silent. > > Ferment there, she looks like she's going to bee [sic]. > > "Gee, are you okay?" he asks her. > > "I'm, like, under a lot of stress ... I've got a yeast inflection." > > "I knew something was brewing." > > He calls the bartender. "Listen, bud, my beer is warm." > > The bartender takes the bottle and empties it in the sink. > > The dude watches as his hops go down the drain. > > "Let's go outside," he says to her. "I'd like to have a word with you." > > "Are you prepositioning me?" > > "I won't be indirect. You are the object of my preposition." > > "Oh my God, you're, like, such a boldfaced character!" > > "I see your point. But I'm font of you. C'mon let's go." > > "Do I have to spell it out? You're not my type, so get off my case!" > > Reluctantly, he decides to letter B. > > "Now my evening lies in runes," he laments. > > He leaves, hoping to have letter luck next time. > > > > Lots more joke sites: > http://www.toptenhumor.com/ > http://jokeoftheday.wordpress.com/ > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funny-jokes/ > http://www.jokes-joke.com/ > http://funny-jokes.blogspot.com/ > http://morefunnyjokes.wordpress.com/ > http://funnydirtyjokes.blogspot.com/ > http://www.goodcleanjokes.com/ > http://jokesfunny.wordpress.com/ > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funny-jokes/ http://www.jokes-joke.com/ http://funny-jokes.blogspot.com/ http://quotes.wordpress.com/ Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funny-jokes/ <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funny-jokes/join (Yahoo! ID required) <*> To change settings via email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
