> A really old vampire named "Tex" > Is "out for blood" and I suspect > He's not a nice guy > If he catches your eye > It's you who will likely be necks > > > Now Gail is a heckuva Ghostess > I say this but then I can boastess > She'll come up and coo, > Well, how do you 'boo' > She is the Ghostess with the Mostess > > > The mummy was looking quite dapper > "Got rich from my music, Old Chapper > 'Cause the music that comes > When my bandages hum > Has made me the world's greatest wrapper!" > > > From the pyramid when one exhumes > A mummy, he's mute we presumes > But you'll know when one's coming > By listening for humming > He doesn't know words, just the tombs > > > The invisible man takes great pleasure > When ever someone comes and says "Your > Invisible, Eh?" > Then just go away." > He thrives on such rude disappear pressure > > > Lon Chaney once met Mister Hyde > Who had the poor fellow tongue tide > When Hyde asked "Is that hair > That you wear, wash & wear > Or do you wear wolf just inside?" > > The Wolfman eventually replied > I wash my hide, Hyde, just in Tide > I'm a wash & wear wolf > Though I say so my sulf > My hide is a great source of pride. > > > And what of your trousers, perchance are > They off somewhere hiding? Please answer > For coming up soon > We will see a full moon > If you can't explain now where your pants are. > > > To frighten the chicks Tom devises > Sheets of white, for turkeys, wise is > His gobblin' will fool > Those chicks so uncool > This poultry guised pullets surprises > > > The vamp gives the chickens a fright > When they see him they always take flight > But there's one that he catches > Whose jewelry he snatches > And he flies with his capon all night > > One of those dead old > pha-raohs > Once asked his dad why 'twas he was > "Now I'm just a dummy > So go ask your mummy > But she will just tell you, 'Be gauze'" > > > The famous Egyptian King Tut > Had a fabulous musical butt > "But some people thinks > My music, it sphynx > I blow toots uncommon, so what?" > > > When the full moon is giving its glow > The hair on this fellow will grow! > But you never will creep > Upon him in his sleep, > That's why he's aware-wolf, you know! > > > Without fangs you'll hear vampires complain > "Hey this sucks!" but I'd like to explain > If they can't make you bleed > They will never succeed > And their biting will all be in vein > > > Dracula must suck blood to live. > Fortunately, virgins have much to give! > He cuts through the tripe, > Asks if they match his type, > And they respond with, "O Positive!" > > > Count Dracula, lanky and slight, > And eschewing a heartier bite, > Was growing bulimic > On victims anemic. > He insisted on making it Blood Lite.
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