A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis
and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed
to meet for dinner at a different neighbors' house each month. Of course,
the lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Dick
and Jane Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women, Jane
wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any
of them had ever lapped a lip over. A few days before the big event, Jane got
out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went
to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was
more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, "We aren't going to
have mushrooms because they are too expensive." He said, "Why don't you go
down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are
plenty of them right in the creek bed." She said, "No, I don't want to do
that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison." He then said,
"I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never
has affected them." After thinking about this, Jane decided to give this a
try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some. She
brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them
to get them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the
back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double
handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty. Ol'
Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite.
All morning long, Jane watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to
affect him, so she decided to use them. The meal was a great success, and
Jane even hired a lady from town to
come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her
head. It was first class. After everyone had finished, they all began to
kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visiting and the women
started to gossip a bit. About this time, the lady from town came in from the
kitchen and whispered in Jane's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died."
With this news, Jane went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she
called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, "It's bad,
but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will
be there as quick as I can get there. We'll give everyone enemas and we will
pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them all
there and keep them calm." It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of
the siren as the
ambulance was coming down the road. When they got there, the EMTs got out
with their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. The doctor arrived
shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each person into the master
bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach. After the last
one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be
fine now, and he left." They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around
the living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said, "You
know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped!!"
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