1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. 
   
  2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country. 
   
  3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country 
and who are very good at crossword puzzles. 
   
  4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but 
don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their 
statistics shown in pie charts. 
   
  5 The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the 
country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave 
Southern California to do it. 
   
  6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country 
and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much. 
   
  7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's 
running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the 
train. 
   
  8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the 
country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while 
intoxicated. 
   
  9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but 
need the baseball scores. 
   
  10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a 
country . . . or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that 
they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped 
minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any 
other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans. 
   
  11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery 
store. 
   
  12. The Arizona Republic is read by people who have recently caught a fish 
and need something in which to wrap it.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
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